Une perspective sur « punition BDSM » proposée par Swingers After Dark
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Les éléments clés à retenir sont la durée de la vidéo (00:18:37s), le titre (SwingTalk 5 – How Do Two Doms as a BDSM Couple Co-Exist?) et l’auteur, ainsi que la description qui suit :« Découvrez ce qui se passe lorsque deux Alpha dom/domme sont en couple ».
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Assurer un retour au calme respectueux et nécessaire
L’impact de l’aftercare sur l’état émotionnel des participants
Il est précieux de se donner un temps d’échange sur les ressentis, les plaisirs, les limites, afin d’adapter les expériences à venir et de renforcer la complicité. L’aftercare est bien plus qu’un retour à la normalité : c’est un moment d’attention réciproque, de reconnaissance et de lien, qui rend la scène BDSM profondément humaine. L’aftercare est une étape clé après une punition sadomaso intense. La soumission peut provoquer des émotions variées comme la honte, le soulagement, l’euphorie ou la tristesse, qu’il faut absolument écouter et accompagner. L’aftercare, étape essentielle du BDSM après une punition ou une scène marquante, assure réconfort et réparation. Il renforce la complicité entre partenaires. Les rituels varient : un câlin sous une couverture offre douceur et sécurité, un mot tendre rassure et valide l’expérience, tandis qu’un bain chaud ou un massage favorisent la détente et prolongent l’intimité partagée.
la raison principale d’appliquer une sanction
Quand la punition BDSM est appliquée avec respect, attention et créativité, elle devient un levier puissant pour renforcer le lien affectif, la discipline et le désir partagé. Chez les couples homme soumis/femme dominante, elle inscrit une dynamique érotique singulière et intense.
Cerner les enjeux de la punition dans le bdsm
Explorer les types de punitions et leurs objectifs
En sadomaso, les sanctions servent à renforcer l’ordre établi. Que la liaison soit hétéro, homo ou non genrée, des pratiques telles que la fessée, la privation de plaisir ou la contrainte physique sont choisies pour leur efficacité à maintenir la tension érotique et la discipline.
Jeu et discipline
Le SM explore plusieurs types de sanctions, allant de la fessée au silence imposé ou au port d’un signe distinctif. Ces pratiques codifiées visent la stabilité du couple et la satisfaction des deux partenaires. Dans un rapport BDSM, punir ne signifie pas faire mal gratuitement, mais affirmer une autorité acceptée et jouer un rôle dans un scénario défini entre dominant et soumis.
Inclure la sanction dans les pratiques BDSM
Combiner douleur et désir : une quête d’équilibre dans la pratique
La douleur dépasse sa fonction de simple stimulus pour devenir un vecteur d’émotions puissantes et intimes. Ce vécu partagé construit une liaison renforcée entre dominant et soumis, basée sur la confiance, l’attention aux limites et la volonté de progresser ensemble en sécurité. Ce qui importe, c’est ce que la douleur suscite et bâtit, pas la douleur elle-même. Être à l’écoute des signaux du soumis est essentiel, car un excès tue le plaisir, et une insuffisance affaiblit la discipline. Dans la pratique bdsm, la douleur utilisée lors d’une punition est un outil pour approfondir la dimension psychologique et émotionnelle du lien dominant-soumis. Employée avec sagesse, elle provoque un lâcher-prise conscient de la personne soumise, qui se remet entièrement à la volonté dominante. Cet abandon volontaire constitue une force qui solidifie la relation. La douleur doit aussi engendrer une intensité émotionnelle profonde, souvent cathartique, en permettant de libérer des émotions enfouies et en modifiant l’état de conscience.
Les situations et outils mobilisés pour la punition
Pour enrichir la palette des expériences, on peut intégrer des pinces, des bougies ou des cordes, qui procurent une stimulation inédite et un contrôle spécifique. Ces instruments, employés avec précaution, structurent la punition comme un rituel partagé, fort et sensuel, où le désir naît aussi bien de la mise en scène que de l’acte lui-même. La punition dans une liaison SM s’intègre souvent dans des jeux de rôle ou des mises en scène, ajoutant une dimension psychologique et théâtrale à la liaison de domination et soumission. Ces scénarios permettent d’explorer symboliquement le pouvoir tout en respectant un cadre consensuel et codifié. Par exemple, la dominante peut incarner une cheffe stricte qui punit son employé pour une faute imaginaire, renforçant ainsi son autorité par la fiction. Une maîtresse peut corriger son esclave masculin pour une désobéissance, accentuant la dynamique entre contrôle et soumission. Certains organisent un « tribunal bdsm » où le soumis est jugé selon des règles fixées à l’avance et puni selon un verdict scénarisé. Ces jeux offrent une expérience riche tant sur le plan émotionnel qu’érotique. Les instruments utilisés varient selon l’intensité recherchée : la fessée à main nue reste un classique, intime et directe, tandis que la canne, le martinet ou la paddle permettent une douleur plus importante et ciblée.
Mettre en place une dynamique de domination consentie et bienveillante
Essentiel rôle des safewords dans le cadre des règles de sécurité
Dialoguer est crucial : il convient toujours de clarifier en amont les limites, les attentes et les terrains à explorer, puis de consacrer un moment après la séance pour discuter des impressions, des modifications possibles et du vécu de chacun·e. Ces précautions ne limitent pas le plaisir, elles en constituent le socle, car en assurant la sécurité corporelle et affective, elles favorisent une circulation fluide du pouvoir dans un climat de confiance. Pour une sureté optimale dans les pratiques sadomaso incluant sanction et jeux de pouvoir, certains principes doivent être appliqués. Le safeword, un mot simple et peu usité dans un contexte érotique comme « rouge », doit être choisi afin qu’il soit reconnu instantanément comme un signal d’arrêt. Il donne au soumis la capacité d’interrompre la séance si une limite est franchie, assurant un cadre consensuel. Par ailleurs, il est essentiel d’instaurer un protocole précis pour stopper toute activité d’urgence, via un mot, un geste ou un signe convenu à l’avance, surtout si la parole est restreinte. Le mot de sécurité, ou safeword, agit comme une balise d’arrêt. Il donne la possibilité au soumis de stopper la rencontre dès que ses limites sont franchies. Sans ce mécanisme, la sanction bdsm doit dégénérer.
L’indispensable alliance entre confiance et consentement
Il est vital de poser des limites claires : ce qui est acceptable, ce qui touche la frontière du supportable, et ce qui ne l’est pas. Ces repères aident à calibrer la sanction selon les accords et à maintenir la confiance. Il faut aussi définir les comportements qui méritent une sanction, afin que la punition garde son poids, reste exceptionnelle et équitable, évitant l’arbitraire ou la routine. Cette rigueur d’écoute, de préparation et d’intention donne à la sanction sa force dans la dynamique dominant·e/soumis·e, quel que soit le genre ou la configuration relationnelle. Au sein d’une liaison BDSM, surtout quand la soumission masculine est au centre, le consentement est primordial. Il repose sur une confiance mutuelle forte, maintenue par une communication claire et respectueuse des limites et attentes. Imposer une sanction dans une liaison bdsm nécessite une compréhension approfondie de son ou sa partenaire soumis·e. Cela permet d’agir dans un environnement sécurisé, consenti et érotique, en tenant compte des désirs mais aussi des zones de vulnérabilité émotionnelle. Le sitewww.ilovebdsm.org permet de suivre l’évolution des usages et des discours liés à la punition .
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Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: microphone check one two one two this is your host not sunbae bad and this is another episode of swingers after dark and I want to chit chat chat chit with a couple from Virginia you know they’re immersed in a BDSM lifestyle and BDSM means bondage dominance Satanists right sadistic right I got the [ __ ] wrong okay a masochistic right so that’s what BDSM means sorry I didn’t want to put you to a canoe so I want to ask the quick question are you – sup and he’s the Dom but like what is your dynamic so we’re not I mean we don’t have the dynamic of sub Dom in this relationship some do but in this relationship we’re kind of equal if that makes sense how does that work well what about between the both of you like or is it just like how does it work like cuz I know you’re dominant with the males and females and you dominate with the with the females but how does that work they call a switch I can switch it up I can be dumb or submissive but mostly I am dominant towards most with him it depends on the day and how I’m feeling so when y’all throw first well how did y’all get in get introduced into BDSM for me I just started going to different BDSM matches and being in Greece and just fell into it from there I joined the things and the different stuff that amazed different people do so what is a munch munch is basically a meet and greet where a fellow King stirs and BDSM people meet so how long have y’all wait first so what I’m getting from this you know brief conversation is that your relationship has nothing to do with BDSM but your dealings where people end up BDSM Society doesn’t when you play roles correct basically because when we first met we weren’t really into BDSM and we just grown from from there we were swingers first so what was the transition how was the transition between BDSM well swingers – BDSM like how did how did you you know transform from one to another so we’re technically still both we’re in the swinging world and we’re in the BDSM worlds we grew from the aspect of swinging that he started munches and everything of that nature and then once we got together we both started going to munchies learning about different aspects of BDSM life and we learned what we like what we don’t like and try to grow from there go into different classes evolving to different states and on and on and so forth so and and as as you know everything is still a learning thing so we are always learning always uh still going to meet and greets and everything of that nature so it’s still a learning process so Fifty Shades of Grey have anything to do with it was that was a genuine interest for real now hey oh my god I will not call it a joke officially but um it’s that was definitely for the people who are not so I just wanna interesting how in your relationship you know you’re not a Serb and he’s not a Dom but when it comes to other people in the community it’s the total opposite like how do you are is there any jealousy like when when a woman said mr. him and when a man submits to you like is there any form of jealousy or competition competition at all but sometimes we detecting different females so me just having fun enjoy joining life so first okay so it’s like do you see yourself doing BDSM for a long time absolutely this is a fun world maybe diving deeper into it I want it farther in life but as what we do now this is definitely fun so how does it help your relationship is it a supplement or is it just something recreational definitely both it keeps the excitement going definitely for me anyway I keeps the excitement going it it supplements the fun that we had together and like I said we grew in this together so this is something we do together all the time so it’s a bond I guess you could say so do y’all like paddle each other or do you like I’ll flog each other or was the whites played electric play you know I’m always picking on new traits and skills so I like the practice and she allows me to practice on her sometimes so y’all practice on each other yes the only way you can get better at something is if you know how it feels yourself so you can’t do it to somebody else and then mmm you know know their reaction to something unless you know how it feels so so what is your specialty is a knife play as a fire as the electro as a flogging what is your expertise a little bit of everything so tonight we have we have electro play we have wax we have knife play we have a lot of impact play stuff yeah that’s what we have tonight so have a little bit of fun with it so well what advice would you give somebody who’s travelling to immerse themselves and a BDSM lifestyle it’s like what is the first thing that you would tell somebody meet and greets and munches if they are if that’s something that they’re deciding to do get involved with a good group get involved with the the meet and greets get to know other people get to know the lifestyle get to know the munches the munches are the biggest thing that’s where you learn a lot of your stuff and know how to go to the classes you can immerse yourself in a lot of different ways so just learning learning it from the jump is the biggest thing once again what is a munch that’s mu n CH for the slope [ __ ] out there so what is a munch munch is essentially meet and greets so you can get experience from those who’ve been in it for a long time networking networking with people that you know are excuse me networking with new people who can kind of involve you and stuff you’ve never learned before so let me ask you this question is considering that y’all went from swinging to BDSM are you welcome in a BDSM community if people know that you’re swingers because it’s low-key segregation I believe it that we’re still welcoming both communities many many people do different things and like different things so it blends together a lot of times okay so is there like any drama in the BDSM I stop because I know there’s a lot of drama and a swinging lifestyle so I just want to know if it’s the same thing oh my goodness your questions are amazing I went to school for journalism so I better put my degree and use that in me ask me thousands of dollars while keeping my arms and legs because of cost you are my legs of course I mean every every world has its is dramas its it’s craziness it’s just what size you want to choose from it so that all depends on you how deep you get into craziness so is there is like speaking from a male perspective are there times where you have to check dudes if they try to like push up on your lady whether it’s in the BDSM my style or the swinger lifestyle not really she can really take care of herself she’s a she can be really dummy towards the guy she’s a murder mommy that’s a son so what about the ladies like do you feel like you have to regulate the ladies or for the most part people are respectful no and he does everything that we going into something like this in a relationship you already have talked about everything that you guys are okay with not okay with so he’s already know and I already know what we do and don’t like so I don’t have any problems with any females at all and he regulates that very well I feel like y’all get him y’all giving me a sanitized version I mean some of the girls are afraid of her sometimes tell me that no mellow female have become attached towards you because it’s very intimate right now for nothing that’s many times when women they didn’t want to play before they got into a session day after the session they got morning I want to shout out y’all video some dolls because y’all helping my [ __ ] count skyrocket sky-high because you know before they didn’t want to play after they wanted to give up the bun so I just want to thank y’all that but so but y’all telling me that there’s no attachment because it’s very sensual even with the pain it is very sensual absolutely and there’s like I said we’re in both sides of the world so we’re in swingers and BDSM so I have no problem with him having a good time he has no problem with me having a good time so if we want to if we decide to go that route that’s no problem so does so how do you separate BDSM from your relationship like how do you separate the two how do you successfully mix it because people lose themselves and alternate lifestyle is like people don’t know how to sip they getting eaten alive like for example in a swinger lifestyle a lot of couples break up once they get in a lifestyle because they don’t have that solid foundation how you develop that solid foundation to know that you could trust your mate and BDSM lifestyle or is it we do normal day-to-day stuff also it’s not just about sex or a BDSM people so it’s about a balance he said we do we do everyday stuff we do swing you’re sober do BDSM stuff so like we’re normal people you’re not I mean so engraving something that is essentially what we love to do how we like to do it into a regular life it’s just like anybody else we both have motorcycle who’s like buff like to ride bikes gun guns we both like shooting guns I mean we we have a lot of other things that come in with each other to offset the BDSM lifestyle I’m glad y’all say y’all normal folk because people think that swing gets and BDSM people it’s like they’re aliens and Martians or whatnot so can you please expand on like the normality of people in BDSM like we’re not freaks we’re not sex fiends we’re not bad people we’re not trying to stab or cut anybody so explain like the like that everyday not a fat person explain the normality to people who have this misconception of those who participate in BDSM it’s hard to explain to a normal 9 to 5 but essentially is this a lot of people in a entire business rankings or people who are always empowered kind of like to give up their power every once in a while like to like to say hey I am not in charge for once you know what I mean are the opposite those who want to be in that higher role who are who are not like to switch the roles sometimes so essentially those who like to switch the role or be both can do that but they’re still normal people does that make sense that make perfect sense because some some people did dominate for so long that sometimes they just want to feel I had is to be submissive they want to be on vacation it from being the boss it makes it is that dynamic parallels to your relationship like it’s sometimes you dominate over him when you know first of all is are you how has the dynamic like the really are you like the alpha male and you’re the year’s submissive to him well how does that work but you know what they say you know you can’t have two hustlers under the same roof because you’re gonna clash so if both of your alphas how do you coexist in that sense I guess you can say we’re not normal well but that’s like how do you coexist because like how do you come to not a compromise how do you come to a consensus like not necessarily kowtow but both everybody can’t be right at the same time absolutely true but you can also agree on certain things you don’t always have to be right in the leading aspect of it sometimes when you’re at work let’s go back to that sometimes when you’re at work you’re not always correct when you’re the CEO sometimes your people will bring you great ideas that you can work with or expound upon so even though you’re in a leaders position not only can you listen but maybe you can work on that you know what I mean so once again for the listeners how long have you been in the BDSM lifestyle about three years now to the video thing I’ve been doing swinging for about 20 years so do you enjoy BDSM better than swinging or which is more excitement or are they equal housing loves I mean like BDSM I mean seeing different reactions from different people was crazy like flogging people and see them they’re like orgasm from it is sometimes my own boy and I mean just think for swinging I mean seeing different people doing different things communing me like boys your mind sometimes like y’all never got into conflicts from let’s say of a woman in the couple got flogged or y’all got paddle that the judge that the husband get jealous or were there any conflicts from a couple one a significant other was flogged a paddle or Electrify or fired and Kohn quote by you most times if I’m doing a couple or like a female and their husbands watching man they get a sorry about in like they want to learn their selves so and I teach them we have no problem teaching people like different trades but yeah they get off on it they come back really man you know you need to do that again or yo show me how to do this you know about to go to the store tomorrow and buy some stuff that way the learning is in teaching experience for me so before we leave I just want to touch on a swinger lifestyle right quick oh y’all like us a full swap a soft swap or you get a hard pass he gets a Hall Pass like what is your dynamic in a swinger lifestyle full swap completely full side so what are times when are you even though you for swap are you more receptive when a single woman wants to play what y’all as opposed to a single male we’ve done both chemistry absolutely definitely depends on that Oh y’all not the type of couples where you know the miracle [ __ ] need a move on but you can’t know how couples use the swinger lifestyle for threesomes and that’s it because the male he’s not down to see to share his woman but he wants to [ __ ] everything in sight so that’s not the case now we’re not like that uh her fourth wall mmm she plays with God separately and play would get a few minutes she she’ll come in and watch and cheer me on hey smile let me that’s what’s up and on that note this has been another episode of swingers after dark and there’s a show host not son baby check out my web site at www.wku.edu/oucampus though is good because I wrote it and it make you say uh-oh and you know share comment rate subscribe to this podcast there’s are all podcast platforms wherever you can find it you know share it to a friend enemy [ __ ] buddy or whatever the case may and on that note until next time peace you know and don’t kiss them hoes and .
Déroulement de la vidéo:
0.65 microphone check one two one two this is
3.27 your host not sunbae bad and this is
5.339 another episode of swingers after dark
7.649 and I want to chit chat chat chit with a
12.3 couple from Virginia you know they’re
13.95 immersed in a BDSM lifestyle and BDSM
17.94 means bondage dominance Satanists right
24.83 sadistic right I got the [ __ ] wrong okay
31.309 a masochistic right so that’s what BDSM
35.82 means sorry I didn’t want to put you to
37.5 a canoe so I want to ask the quick
40.86 question are you – sup and he’s the Dom
44.55 but like what is your dynamic so we’re
49.469 not I mean we don’t have the dynamic of
51.539 sub Dom in this relationship some do but
56.19 in this relationship we’re kind of equal
58.62 if that makes sense
65.9 how does that work well what about
68.729 between the both of you like or is it
72.21 just like how does it work like cuz I
74.76 know you’re dominant with the males and
76.979 females and you dominate with the with
79.049 the females but how does that work they
83.31 call a switch I can switch it up I can
86.85 be dumb or submissive but mostly I am
92.93 dominant towards most with him it
97.71 depends on the day and how I’m feeling
101.57 so when y’all throw first well how did
105.0 y’all get in get introduced into BDSM
108.59 for me I just started going to different
111.329 BDSM matches and being in Greece and
114.6 just fell into it from there
116.729 I joined the things and the different
120.299 stuff that amazed different people do so
122.579 what is a munch munch is basically a
125.1 meet and greet where a fellow King stirs
128.25 and BDSM people meet
130.72 so how long have y’all wait first so
133.94 what I’m getting from this you know
136.49 brief conversation is that your
139.01 relationship has nothing to do with BDSM
141.23 but your dealings where people end up
144.44 BDSM Society doesn’t when you play roles
147.26 correct basically because when we first
151.1 met we weren’t really into BDSM and we
154.55 just grown from from there we were
157.1 swingers first so what was the
160.91 transition how was the transition
162.23 between BDSM well swingers – BDSM like
167.18 how did how did you you know transform
171.14 from one to another so we’re technically
174.68 still both we’re in the swinging world
177.29 and we’re in the BDSM worlds we grew
182.72 from the aspect of swinging that he
185.33 started munches and everything of that
186.739 nature and then once we got together we
188.81 both started going to munchies learning
190.82 about different aspects of BDSM life and
195.19 we learned what we like what we don’t
198.2 like and try to grow from there go into
201.17 different classes evolving to different
203.93 states and on and on and so forth so and
206.93 and as as you know everything is still a
209.989 learning thing so we are always learning
211.97 always uh still going to meet and greets
214.94 and everything of that nature so it’s
217.43 still a learning process so Fifty Shades
219.5 of Grey have anything to do with it was
221.269 that was a genuine interest for real now
225.95 hey oh my god I will not call it a joke
228.56 officially but um it’s that was
231.68 definitely for the people who are not so
237.86 I just wanna interesting how in your
239.69 relationship you know you’re not a Serb
241.82 and he’s not a Dom but when it comes to
243.56 other people in the community it’s the
246.68 total opposite like how do you are is
249.2 there any jealousy like when when a
251.959 woman said mr. him and when a man
254.57 submits to you like is there any form of
257.57 jealousy or competition
263.03 competition at all but sometimes we
266.19 detecting different females so me just
269.13 having fun enjoy joining life so first
274.25 okay so it’s like do you see yourself
277.71 doing BDSM for a long time
279.45 absolutely this is a fun world maybe
283.02 diving deeper into it I want it farther
286.14 in life but as what we do now this is
290.25 definitely fun so how does it help your
292.38 relationship is it a supplement or is it
294.75 just something recreational definitely
299.28 both
300.09 it keeps the excitement going definitely
304.52 for me anyway I keeps the excitement
307.59 going it it supplements the fun that we
311.58 had together and like I said we grew in
313.29 this together so this is something we do
314.88 together all the time so it’s a bond I
318.81 guess you could say so do y’all like
321.03 paddle each other or do you like I’ll
323.04 flog each other or was the whites played
337.44 electric play you know I’m always
339.66 picking on new traits and skills so I
343.74 like the practice and she allows me to
345.96 practice on her sometimes
348.0 so y’all practice on each other yes the
352.02 only way you can get better at something
353.43 is if you know how it feels yourself so
355.62 you can’t do it to somebody else and
357.57 then mmm you know know their reaction to
361.32 something unless you know how it feels
363.2 so so what is your specialty is a knife
365.94 play as a fire as the electro as a
368.52 flogging what is your expertise a little
372.33 bit of everything so tonight we have we
374.88 have electro play we have wax we have
378.9 knife play we have a lot of impact play
381.06 stuff yeah that’s what we have tonight
385.2 so have a little bit of fun with it so
387.68 well what advice would you give somebody
390.06 who’s travelling to immerse themselves
393.72 and a BDSM lifestyle it’s like what is
396.15 the first thing that you would tell
397.889 somebody meet and greets and munches if
403.02 they are if that’s something that
404.58 they’re deciding to do get involved with
407.34 a good group get involved with the the
411.57 meet and greets get to know other people
413.19 get to know the lifestyle get to know
416.06 the munches the munches are the biggest
418.919 thing that’s where you learn a lot of
421.29 your stuff and know how to go to the
422.91 classes you can immerse yourself in a
425.91 lot of different ways so just learning
429.66 learning it from the jump
431.31 is the biggest thing once again what is
433.53 a munch that’s mu n CH for the slope
436.59 [ __ ] out there so what is a
437.82 munch munch is essentially meet and
441.03 greets so you can get experience from
445.71 those who’ve been in it for a long time
449.12 networking networking with people that
451.56 you know are excuse me networking with
454.65 new people who can kind of involve you
458.25 and stuff you’ve never learned before so
460.38 let me ask you this question is
461.7 considering that y’all went from
463.65 swinging to BDSM are you welcome in a
466.169 BDSM community if people know that
468.81 you’re swingers because it’s low-key
470.96 segregation I believe it that we’re
474.99 still welcoming both communities many
478.25 many people do different things and like
480.69 different things so it blends together a
483.66 lot of times okay so is there like any
488.34 drama in the BDSM I stop because I know
490.919 there’s a lot of drama and a swinging
492.84 lifestyle so I just want to know if it’s
495.27 the same thing oh my goodness your
497.669 questions are amazing I went to school
500.16 for journalism so I better put my degree
502.139 and use that in me ask me thousands of
504.539 dollars while keeping my arms and legs
507.69 because of cost you are my legs of
515.52 course I mean every every world has its
518.099 is dramas its it’s craziness
521.61 it’s just what size you want to choose
523.56 from it so that all depends on you how
525.69 deep you get into craziness
528.38 so is there is like speaking from a male
531.62 perspective are there times where you
533.51 have to check dudes if they try to like
536.57 push up on your lady whether it’s in the
538.97 BDSM my style or the swinger lifestyle
540.98 not really she can really take care of
543.59 herself she’s a she can be really dummy
546.11 towards the guy she’s a murder mommy
549.53 that’s a son so what about the ladies
553.94 like do you feel like you have to
555.38 regulate the ladies or for the most part
557.12 people are respectful no and he does
562.19 everything that we going into something
566.0 like this in a relationship you already
568.13 have talked about everything that you
570.2 guys are okay with not okay with so he’s
573.41 already know and I already know what we
576.95 do and don’t like so I don’t have any
580.04 problems with any females at all
582.59 and he regulates that very well I feel
585.77 like y’all get him y’all giving me a
587.18 sanitized version I mean some of the
591.32 girls are afraid of her sometimes tell
595.19 me that no mellow female have become
597.41 attached towards you because it’s very
599.21 intimate right now for nothing that’s
600.95 many times when women they didn’t want
603.05 to play before they got into a session
605.09 day after the session they got morning
606.86 I want to shout out y’all video some
608.63 dolls because y’all helping my [ __ ]610.22 count skyrocket sky-high because you
613.67 know before they didn’t want to play
614.78 after they wanted to give up the bun so
617.06 I just want to thank y’all that but so
618.47 but y’all telling me that there’s no
620.56 attachment because it’s very sensual
623.15 even with the pain
624.86 it is very sensual absolutely and
627.11 there’s like I said we’re in both sides
629.69 of the world so we’re in swingers and
631.4 BDSM so I have no problem with him
633.41 having a good time he has no problem
635.78 with me having a good time so if we want
637.55 to if we decide to go that route that’s
639.65 no problem
640.37 so does so how do you separate BDSM from
644.24 your relationship like how do you
646.67 separate the two how do you successfully
654.08 mix it because people lose themselves
658.4 and alternate lifestyle is like people
660.86 don’t know how to sip
662.389 they getting eaten alive like for
665.24 example in a swinger lifestyle a lot of
666.68 couples break up once they get in a
669.199 lifestyle because they don’t have that
670.55 solid foundation how you develop that
672.62 solid foundation to know that you could
674.389 trust your mate and BDSM lifestyle or is
677.509 it we do normal day-to-day stuff also
682.55 it’s not just about sex or a BDSM people
689.98 so it’s about a balance he said we do we
695.959 do everyday stuff we do swing you’re
697.61 sober do BDSM stuff so like we’re normal
700.579 people you’re not I mean so engraving
703.37 something that is essentially what we
708.41 love to do how we like to do it into a
711.649 regular life
712.61 it’s just like anybody else we both have
718.1 motorcycle who’s like buff like to ride
719.72 bikes gun guns we both like shooting
723.44 guns I mean we we have a lot of other
726.889 things that come in with each other to
728.62 offset the BDSM lifestyle I’m glad y’all
732.889 say y’all normal folk because people
734.959 think that swing gets and BDSM people
737.3 it’s like they’re aliens and Martians or
739.189 whatnot so can you please expand on like
742.04 the normality of people in BDSM like
746.029 we’re not freaks
747.35 we’re not sex fiends we’re not bad
749.389 people we’re not trying to stab or cut
752.089 anybody so explain like the like that
754.73 everyday not a fat person explain the
757.279 normality to people who have this
759.589 misconception of those who participate
762.139 in BDSM it’s hard to explain to a normal
766.61 9 to 5 but essentially is this a lot of
773.389 people in a entire business rankings or
776.54 people who are always empowered kind of
779.06 like to give up their power every once
780.56 in a while like to like to say hey I am
783.949 not in charge for once you know what I
786.079 mean are the opposite those who want to
789.38 be in that higher role who are who are
793.699 not like to switch the roles sometimes
795.86 so essentially those who like to switch
799.73 the role or be both can do that but
803.42 they’re still normal people does that
805.279 make sense that make perfect sense
806.959 because some some people did dominate
808.79 for so long that sometimes they just
810.23 want to feel I had is to be submissive
812.23 they want to be on vacation it from
814.939 being the boss
815.87 it makes it is that dynamic parallels to
820.04 your relationship like it’s sometimes
824.6 you dominate over him when you know
827.87 first of all is are you how has the
830.329 dynamic like the really are you like the
831.889 alpha male and you’re the year’s
834.5 submissive to him well how does that
835.88 work but you know what they say you know
839.809 you can’t have two hustlers under the
841.55 same roof because you’re gonna clash so
843.68 if both of your alphas how do you
846.5 coexist in that sense I guess you can
849.92 say we’re not normal
851.29 well but that’s like how do you coexist
854.269 because like how do you come to not a
856.85 compromise how do you come to a
858.68 consensus like not necessarily kowtow
861.259 but both everybody can’t be right at the
864.29 same time absolutely true but you can
867.709 also agree on certain things you don’t
869.809 always have to be right in the leading
872.75 aspect of it sometimes when you’re at
876.47 work let’s go back to that sometimes
878.48 when you’re at work you’re not always
880.519 correct when you’re the CEO
882.23 sometimes your people will bring you
883.939 great ideas that you can work with or
886.04 expound upon so even though you’re in a
888.439 leaders position not only can you listen
891.769 but maybe you can work on that you know
893.54 what I mean so once again for the
896.3 listeners how long have you been in the
898.67 BDSM lifestyle about three years now to
905.569 the video thing I’ve been doing swinging
907.569 for about 20 years so do you enjoy BDSM
912.11 better than swinging or which is more
914.75 excitement or are they equal
918.61 housing loves I mean like BDSM I mean
921.72 seeing different reactions from
923.889 different people was crazy like flogging
927.79 people and see them they’re like orgasm
929.439 from it is sometimes my own boy and I
933.249 mean just think for swinging I mean
935.459 seeing different people doing different
937.299 things communing me like boys your mind
940.569 sometimes like y’all never got into
944.559 conflicts from let’s say of a woman in
948.1 the couple got flogged or y’all got
950.529 paddle that the judge that the husband
952.66 get jealous or were there any conflicts
956.079 from a couple one a significant other
957.61 was flogged a paddle or Electrify or
960.069 fired and Kohn quote by you most times
967.509 if I’m doing a couple or like a female
969.91 and their husbands watching man they get
973.36 a sorry about in like they want to learn
975.369 their selves so and I teach them we have
978.61 no problem teaching people like
979.899 different trades but yeah they get off
982.929 on it they come back really man you know
985.72 you need to do that again or yo show me
988.66 how to do this you know about to go to
991.149 the store tomorrow and buy some stuff
994.259 that way the learning is in teaching
996.61 experience for me so before we leave I
999.639 just want to touch on a swinger
1000.869 lifestyle right quick oh y’all like us a
1002.85 full swap a soft swap or you get a hard
1006.839 pass he gets a Hall Pass like what is
1009.779 your dynamic in a swinger lifestyle full
1012.779 swap completely full side so what are
1017.759 times when are you even though you for
1021.329 swap are you more receptive when a
1023.879 single woman wants to play what y’all as
1026.069 opposed to a single male we’ve done both
1034.25 chemistry absolutely definitely depends
1037.139 on that Oh y’all not the type of couples
1039.48 where you know the miracle [ __ ] need
1042.899 a move on but you can’t know how couples
1047.039 use the swinger lifestyle for threesomes
1049.32 and that’s it because the male he’s
1051.559 not down to see to share his woman but
1054.71 he wants to [ __ ] everything in sight so
1056.779 that’s not the case now we’re not like
1058.85 that uh her fourth wall mmm she plays
1061.73 with God separately and play would get a
1063.62 few minutes she she’ll come in and watch
1067.129 and cheer me on
1067.85 hey smile let me that’s what’s up
1073.58 and on that note this has been another
1075.08 episode of swingers after dark and
1076.999 there’s a show host not son baby check
1079.34 out my web site at www.wku.edu/oucampus
1091.45 though is good because I wrote it and it
1094.309 make you say uh-oh
1097.7 and you know share comment rate
1100.49 subscribe to this podcast there’s are
1102.98 all podcast platforms wherever you can
1105.799 find it you know share it to a friend
1107.48 enemy [ __ ] buddy or whatever the case
1109.429 may and on that note until next time
1112.309 peace you know and don’t kiss them hoes
1115.759 and
.
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