Youtube punition BDSM: Règles pour débutants pour le BDSM + Conseils pour commencer

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À noter, la durée de la vidéo est de 00:15:58 secondes et son titre est Beginner Rules For BDSM + Advice For Getting Started, fournis par [vid_author_name]. La description se trouve ci-dessous :« Vous cherchez plus d’informations mentionnées dans cette vidéo ? Mes réseaux sociaux ? Comment soutenir cette chaîne ? Cliquez simplement sur « afficher plus » ci-dessous ! ヽ(´･ω･`)､ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▼▼▼ SOUTENEZ ET ABONNEZ-VOUS ▼▼▼ Abonnez-vous à ma chaîne : https://www.youtube.com/c/EvieLupine Mon Patreon : https://www.patreon.com/EvieLupine Mon site Web : www.evielupine.com Podcast : http://kinkierworld.com/ ****NOUVEAU!!!!**** Ma boutique de produits dérivés BDSM : https://teespring.com/stores/evie-lupine Demandes commerciales uniquement : lupineventide@gmail.com ▼▼▼ VIDÉOS CONNEXES ▼▼▼ Comment punir un masochiste : https://youtu.be/4V1rUhPmXF8 Punition contre Funishment : https://youtu.be/pXpyazrnOGg Négocier une punition : https://youtu.be/6cJTKQ8Eaos Pouvez-vous punir un Dom ? : https://youtu.be/rwNc3e579OA Contrats et négociation 101 : https://youtu.be/VJ8WLWr_2hE ▼▼▼ INFORMATION VIDÉO ▼▼▼ Règles ! Le sujet préféré de tous. Lorsqu’il s’agit de développer une dynamique D/s ou d’échange de pouvoir, la première chose à laquelle les gens pensent, ce sont les règles et la structure qui l’accompagnent. Mais par où commencer ? Comment savoir si une règle fonctionnera pour la relation – et comment décider quelle serait une bonne idée à essayer ? Dans cette vidéo, je vais expliquer comment j’évalue personnellement une nouvelle règle ou un nouveau protocole, des conseils généraux pour l’échange de pouvoir et passer en revue mes 5 meilleurs choix de règles. Que vous soyez nouveau dans l’échange de pouvoir ou dans le bdsm en général, je pense que ces suggestions peuvent vraiment vous aider à prendre le bon départ dans votre dynamique D/s ! À DES FINS ÉDUCATIVES UNIQUEMENT. Toutes mes vidéos sont destinées à fournir des informations de sécurité aux adultes qui choisissent de se livrer à ces activités ainsi qu’à lutter contre les stéréotypes et la désinformation. De plus, ces vidéos peuvent contenir des commentaires éducatifs sur les questions queer, la culture pop et l’actualité. Aucune partie de mon contenu n’est destinée à être utilisée à des fins de gratification et n’est pas non plus intentionnellement salace. Tout le contenu utilisé est conforme aux directives d’utilisation équitable à des fins éducatives et de commentaires. ▼▼▼ TOUT LE reste ▼▼▼ Art par : @animositi sur Instagram Crédits/Attribution (Musique) : Artiste : Audionautix Site Web : http://audionautix.com/ Piste : Transport Sous licence Creative Commons Attribution (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/…) ▼▼▼ PO BOX ▼▼▼ Evie MPO Box 31978 Seattle WA 98103 ».

YouTube donne accès à une multitude de vidéos sur une large gamme de sujets, favorisant un échange respectueux autour de contenus créatifs et divers. Chaque utilisateur peut explorer des thématiques variées et trouver des vidéos qui répondent à leurs intérêts tout en restant fidèle aux règles de la plateforme.

Construire un rapport de force harmonieux et équilibré

Nécessité des safewords et des règles pour garantir la sécurité

Le safeword représente une ligne de sureté essentielle. Il offre au soumis la possibilité d’interrompre la séance en cas de dépassement des limites. Sans ce garde-fou, la punition BDSM doit devenir abusive. Pour garantir la sécurité dans les relations sadomaso mêlant punitions et jeux de pouvoir, le respect de certaines règles est vital. Le safeword, mot simple et inhabituel dans le contexte érotique, par exemple « rouge », doit être choisi pour servir de signal clair d’arrêt. Il offre à la personne soumise la possibilité de stopper la séance si une limite est franchie, préservant ainsi le consentement. Un protocole précis pour interrompre toute activité en cas d’urgence doit également être prévu, que ce soit par un mot, un geste ou un signe convenu, notamment lorsque la parole est limitée. La communication est la clé : toujours convenir avant la séance des limites, des désirs et des espaces d’exploration, puis prendre un temps après pour échanger sur les ressentis, les ajustements et le vécu de chacun·e. Ces précautions ne brident pas le jeu, elles en sont la condition essentielle, garantissant la sureté physique et émotionnelle et permettant une circulation fluide du pouvoir dans un cadre de confiance.

La nécessité vitale de la confiance et du consentement

Définir clairement les limites est fondamental : distinguer ce qui est tolérable, ce qui est à la limite du supportable, et ce qui ne l’est pas. Ces repères permettent d’ajuster la sanction selon les accords passés et de conserver un climat de confiance. Il est aussi crucial d’identifier les comportements qui méritent une discipline, afin que la punition garde tout son poids, reste rare et significative, et ne devienne pas une routine ou une injustice. C’est cette rigueur d’écoute, de préparation et d’intention qui donne à la punition sa force dans le lien dominant·e/soumis·e, quel que soit le genre ou la nature de la relation. Imposer une punition dans le bdsm demande une connaissance précise de son ou sa partenaire soumis·e. Cela garantit que la pratique se déroule dans un cadre sécurisé, consensuel et érotique, respectant à la fois les désirs et les fragilités émotionnelles. Le consentement est la clé de voûte d’une liaison sadomaso, particulièrement dans la soumission masculine. Une confiance absolue entre dominante et soumis s’établit grâce à un dialogue franc sur les règles, les désirs et les interdits.

Garantir une récupération émotionnelle et physique optimale

le rôle fondamental de la punition

La pratique de la punition en BDSM, fondée sur le respect, la compréhension et la créativité, se révèle un moyen puissant de tisser un lien émotionnel, d’instaurer une discipline et de partager un désir mutuel. Elle marque la dynamique érotique des couples où la femme domine l’homme soumis.

Le soin post-séance : un pilier du bien-être émotionnel

Après une sanction SM, particulièrement forte, il est primordial de pratiquer un aftercare adapté. La personne soumise doit vivre un tourbillon d’émotions — honte, euphorie, tristesse, soulagement — qu’il est essentiel d’accueillir avec douceur. Le soin après séance, ou aftercare, est une phase indispensable dans le SM, particulièrement après une punition ou une scène forte. Il a pour but de consoler, réparer et renforcer le lien entre partenaires. Différents rituels peuvent être mis en place : un câlin pour la chaleur et la sécurité, un mot doux pour rassurer, un bain chaud ou un massage pour détendre et prolonger la douceur du moment. Il est précieux de se donner un temps d’échange sur les ressentis, les plaisirs, les limites, afin d’adapter les expériences à venir et de renforcer la complicité. L’aftercare est bien plus qu’un retour à la normalité : c’est un moment d’attention réciproque, de reconnaissance et de lien, qui rend la scène sadomaso profondément humaine.

Examiner la dimension corrective dans les pratiques SM

Jeu et discipline

La punition dans une liaison BDSM est un acte réfléchi et codifié, qui prend tout son sens dans la relation contractuelle entre une dominatrice et son soumis. Dans les pratiques sadomaso, la sanction peut être douce ou sévère, visible ou discrète, mais elle s’inscrit toujours dans une logique de contrôle consenti et de plaisir réciproque.

Explorer les types de sanctions et leurs objectifs

Dans toutes les dynamiques sadomaso, certaines punitions – physiques, psychologiques ou sexuelles – jouent un rôle crucial. Elles modèlent la relation, encadrent les comportements et intensifient les liens de domination et de plaisir.

Faire de la punition un élément des jeux SM

Les formes et instruments appliqués lors de la punition

Afin d’enrichir la diversité des expériences, on peut incorporer des pinces, des bougies ou des cordes, apportant une autre dimension de stimulation et de contrôle. Ces instruments, choisis avec attention, structurent la sanction en un rituel commun, importante et sensuel, où le désir s’enracine autant dans la mise en scène que dans l’acte. La punition sadomaso s’intègre souvent à une mise en scène ou un jeu de rôle, apportant une dimension à la fois théâtrale et psychologique à la liaison de domination et soumission. Ces scénarios symboliques permettent d’explorer le pouvoir dans un cadre strictement consenti et structuré. Par exemple, la dominante peut jouer le rôle d’une cheffe sévère punissant son employé pour une faute imaginaire, ce qui renforce son autorité par la fiction. De même, une maîtresse peut corriger son esclave masculin pour une désobéissance, accentuant ainsi la tension entre contrôle et soumission. Certains pratiquent un « tribunal BDSM » où le soumis est jugé selon des règles préétablies et puni en fonction d’un verdict scénarisé. Ces jeux offrent une riche expérience, tant sur le plan émotionnel qu’érotique. Les outils utilisés pour ces sanctions varient en fonction de l’intensité désirée : la fessée à la main nue reste un classique, intime et directe, tandis que la canne, le martinet ou la paddle infligent des douleurs plus ciblées et marquantes.

Dosage précis entre douleur et plaisir pour une expérience maîtrisée

Loin d’être un simple choc physique, la douleur dans le bdsm est une source de sensations complexes et profondes. Ce partage forge un lien solide entre dominant et soumis, reposant sur la confiance, l’écoute et le respect mutuel des limites, dans un cadre sûr. La douleur compte moins pour elle-même que pour ce qu’elle déclenche et édifie dans la relation. Savoir lire les signaux corporels et émotionnels du soumis est vital : trop de douleur annihile le plaisir, trop peu le réduit. Explorez l’univers de la punition tel qu’il s’exprime sur les réseaux, guidé par le site ilovebdsm.org. Dans une relation sadomaso, la douleur infligée lors d’une punition est avant tout un outil au service d’une dynamique psychologique et émotionnelle profonde. Utilisée avec précaution, elle suscite un lâcher-prise où la personne soumise se remet pleinement à l’autorité. Cet abandon, conscient et volontaire, renforce la confiance et le lien. La douleur peut aussi déclencher une intensité émotionnelle forte, parfois cathartique, libérant des émotions enfouies et induisant un état de conscience altéré. Le sitehttps://www.ilovebdsm.org permet de suivre l’évolution des usages et des discours liés à la punition .

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#Règles #pour #débutants #pour #BDSM #Conseils #pour #commencer

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: hello everyone my name is Eva lupine welcome back to my channel and today I have another video for you all today we are going to be discussing my personal recommendations for getting started with rules and power exchange in a BDSM dynamic rules and punishments are probably the two things that I get asked the most questions about on my channel and if you are looking for those resources I have lots of other videos covering how to establish a power exchange dynamic how to negotiate punishment ideas reward systems all of those things so if you want to learn more about those as well please do remember to check out the videos that will be in the description box below so you can have that additional knowledge today specifically what I want to talk about are my personal general guidelines that I use when I’m evaluating if this is a rule that I want to have part of my BDSM dynamic and then I’m also going to be giving you guys five recommendations to start off with rules in your own relationship which I find are particularly helpful if you don’t really know what you want out of power exchange yet or are nervous and don’t yet have any experience so like I said the first thing that I want to talk about are my general guidelines I use when I’m evaluating if I want to have rules or a certain role in my dynamic and the first thing that is probably always top of my mind is purpose purpose is so important why are you doing this role why do you want this is it because it fulfills a king need is it about reinforcing the dynamic is it about feeling closer to your submissive side is it about personal growth or learning a skill or remembering to do a healthy habit there are lots of reasons why you could potentially want to add a certain role to a relationship however I would avoid things like I don’t know or because everybody else is doing it or because this is what we should do as a domme and the sub I just don’t personally agree with that now you may not necessarily have solid reasons when you’re first getting into it and you are in that experimental phase but then hey you know it’s because you want to experiment it should be something where you’re talking to your partner figure out what purposes serve because rules that don’t really have any meaning behind them and that aren’t fulfilling are going to be difficult to remember they’re going to be hard to enforce and more often than not they’re eventually going to end up on the wayside of the relationship and ultimately that could end up damaging your ability to continue to do additional power exchange in the future when one party isn’t remembering and the other one is it remembering to enforce it as well I always recommend starting off slowly I think there’s this misconception online that people get from trying to look up resources about rules that gives people the idea that everybody starts off with like this thick rulebook of all of these very detailed exacting things that are expected of the submissive and whenever you enter into a power exchanger Namek you automatically get this rulebook and you’re gonna start doing it tomorrow and there are sometimes people who enter into relationships that way but I think if you’re new the best way to set yourself up with success is not to walk into everything with Tony rules but to take things in baby steps do it one thing at a time so I recommend starting off with just one or two rules at first get kind of a sense for them try them on if you will figure out if they work for your dynamic or not how you can’t adjust them almost sort of have like a trial period then when you feel comfortable with those you start anymore or maybe you go back and you try out a different rule but you can’t eventually get to the place where you have that thick stack of rules but it should ideally start off one rule at a time because when you’re new you don’t really necessarily know what you want yet the idea of a certain role can be very different from the reality of it having to live with a certain rule every single day is different than the fantasy picture of it that you have in your head which brings me to my next point which is always negotiate while sober and this goes for like all of PDS em but especially when it comes to coming up with rules I do not recommend you add new rules or negotiate to add something to your dynamic mid-scene or when you’re in subspace or when you are in aftercare when you’re high if you’re in some kind of altered state of mind that is not the best place to be adding new rules to their relationship the phrase that I’ve often heard in my local community is don’t negotiate when you’re horny because especially when you’re horny just like all those other altered states of mind your brain is flooded with chemicals that is making it choose things that your everyday self may not normally have chosen and something that sounds really really hot when you’re deep in subspace may not be so hot to you when you’re not in subspace and if not subspace you has to deal with that thing for however long the rule is in place for then can end up not feeling very good so if you do have an idea that comes up when you’re horny or you’re in a scene save it until after all of those things have kind of been cleared out of the system give yourself space and time to kind of really think about is this something that I want to commit myself to before you go into that because rules can definitely be hot they can be really engaging and and bonding to the dynamic but if you’re actively going into these and instantly getting horny when you’re talking about them that isn’t maybe not necessarily the best place to come to rational long-term healthy decisions as well when you’re coming up with rules I recommend you keep things simple going back to the whole giant rule book of rules thing things don’t really have to be that complicated I know there is an allure to plan things to absolute death be super super exacting and everything and there is a value to that and there are times and situations where you should be anticipating things that might get in the way or cause misinterpretation of the specific rule but when you’re starting out it is good to have that flexibility rather than rigidity because basically what you’re doing is you’re taking like a lump of clay and you’re building that clay with your partner and you’re deciding ultimately what shape is this going to take and maybe you decide that you want to make a vase well you should probably leave some room for interpretation about what ultimately the shape of the vase is going to be help it’s going to be or how wide it is or how big the opening is there are many many variations on the way that you can get to the ultimate final thing that you want to be doing and the less rigidity you have the more ability you have to make accommodations to make changes without it being damaging to the relationship and the last thing is to remember to communicate with your partner this is so important in pretty much all areas of BDSM I can’t really think of a time when it’s not but especially when you’re coming up with rules I know if you’re new if you are submissive if you’re just getting into this it is really tempting to stay silent if something is not working for you particularly if you think it’s a simple rule or an easy rule if you’re having trouble remembering it if it’s difficult for you to keep up with because your school schedule or work or for some reason nerds is dealing with a bad spa and you’re not really able to kind of get in the mood to do it whatever it is it doesn’t necessarily mean that the rule shouldn’t be in place but what should happen is an opportunity to talk to your partner about why something isn’t working the way that you expected and how things can change or not change or what your partner can do to help you and this definitely goes for dominance as well like dominance if you are feeling uncomfortable with a certain rule if you are having trouble remembering enforcing the rules or you’re having difficulty like mentally thinking about enforcing something you’re getting into that headspace like talk to your partner about that too no matter where you are in the / no matter if you’re giving or receiving the rules there should always be that opportunity to talk about how things are working revisiting subjects and it’s not a failure to have to get rid of a rule or rework something this is all a growth processes all about learning and remember to give yourselves those opportunities to learn alright now I’m gonna go ahead and get into my five rule recommendations I have if you are just getting started with rules in BDSM I try to make these as versatile as possible because again these are just simple ideas but they’re ones that I think I work pretty well no matter what sort of dynamic you’re hoping to get into pet play or CGL or general MS whatever it is these are some pretty good places to start my number one recommendation is setting bedtimes and or having a no technology immediately before bed roll I think this one has a pretty clear purpose it’s about establishing healthy things in your submissives life it is about having you routine and a schedule and many many rules are built on a foundation of schedules and there’s no better place to start that then with the time that the person goes to sleep it’s something that’s really easy to enforce especially if you live with the person and even if you don’t it’s something that is easy to send reminders about set alarms for there’s all kinds of ways where you can make sure that this is going to be a rule that is kept in place I think ultimately when somebody starts to see the positive benefits of a rule like this it’s almost something that becomes self enforcing and then can start to build on itself my second recommendation is good morning / good night messages again very very clear purpose it’s about keeping your partnership and keeping your BDSM dynamic in mind even when you aren’t necessarily with each other it’s something that is very flexible between different work schedules and different sleep schedules and time zones and long distance relationships and even if you live with your partner you can do this so very flexible and it is so easy to do if you are somebody who’s really busy it literally takes you you know four seconds after you get out of the shower in the morning or when you’re first waking up in you’re checking Facebook anyway just send your partner a quick message and say good morning sir and they can they can say you know good morning little one or whatever it is text email a phone call whatever works best for your particular situation I think this is a great way to again keep the power exchange dynamic in mind and especially for those of us who are interested in cgl or pet play who tend to be a little bit more focused on wanting attention in the relationship just having these quick little kind of openers and closers to the day can make us feel so much more important to our partners even if we’re not really able to have a lot of in-depth communication throughout the rest of the day and that also leads me into my third suggestion which is titled protocols I think that sounds a little bit more intense than it really is basically what it means is that you and your partner come to an agreement to always use certain titles with each other so maybe you always call your partner little one and they always call you daddy or sir and that is how they are expected to address you and if they call you by another name like your real name or your full name or they forget to add in you know the sir the mam or whatever it happens to be then you know they’ve broken the rule this is something that again has a clear purpose of establishing the relationship dynamic enforcing it on a daily basis and it’s a pretty easy habit to get into there’s a couple different ways you can do this like for me I always call my partner sir whenever I’m referring to him unless I am around say vanilla people or I don’t want to have somebody be involved in our dynamic but you can also do this where you have somebody always use the person’s title at the end of their sentences when they’re communicating so yes sir or I’ve had a good morning sir or what have you had for breakfast sir whatever it happens to be you can have these ways to make sure that title gets inserted in regular periods throughout the day to again reinforce that dynamic and reinforce the power exchange and my fourth recommendation is keeping track of your submissives drinking water now in general I’m not a really big proponent of rules and punishments based around diets because it can definitely be a very very slippery slope and way to help somebody harm themselves but I think comparatively keeping track of something like water is a little bit lower risk it’s less likely to have a lot of potential ramifications to it the biggest issue with keeping track of water is how you actually do it and the amount obviously is going to vary person to person and body type the body type I know some people who do this by sending a photo every single time they do a glass of water but depending on your everyday environment and what your life is typically like it can be so easy to forget to take a photo when you’re busy with family or kids you’re at like a busy night club or something and if your partner is suddenly getting ten photos of water glasses all the time it can really impede the rest of the conversation you’re having and it can get difficult for them to keep track of as well there are lots of water intake tracking apps that you can use on your cell phone and it could be something where you send screenshots to your partners so they can see how much water you’re drinking they can physically check it once a week or maybe they can even be part of the app as well so they can see in the movie they can even track their own water intake have sort of some mutual accountability but overall I think this is a good starting rule particularly if you are wanting to have rules that are more like health and fitness focused before you completely go down that pathway my last recommendation number five is asking permission this one is very very general but that is on purpose I think the habit of learning to ask permission for something specific is a great way of keeping the submissive mindset going it’s a great way of putting the dominant in a position of power it’s a great way for them to get used to being the one who is making decisions and in a constant position of authority and it is very flexible to different interests and things you want to get into this could be things like ask permission to get on the couch if you’re a pet player asking permission to use the restroom if you’re a little asking permission to leave a room if your service focused asking be dismissed at dinner you know all sorts of things asking permission to get into bed asking permission to have an orgasm so many ways to incorporate this role into so many different dynamics and it is so buildable as well because once you involve having to ask permission for one thing it becomes a lot easier to get into the habit to be able to do that with other things as well alright that is all the suggestions I have for today hopefully you found these interesting and helpful if you have any questions please let me know down in the comment section below let me know if you liked this video and if you did make sure you subscribe if you haven’t already I make videos twice a week and if you want to support my channel the best way you can do that is over on patreon that is how I’m able to make these videos and make lots of exclusive bonus content if that interests you and until I see you guys next time of a great rest of your day and a great rest week [Music] .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0.0 hello everyone my name is Eva lupine
3.06 welcome back to my channel and today I
5.58 have another video for you all today we
8.309 are going to be discussing my personal
10.16 recommendations for getting started with
12.45 rules and power exchange in a BDSM
14.61 dynamic rules and punishments are
17.07 probably the two things that I get asked
18.69 the most questions about on my channel
20.939 and if you are looking for those
22.59 resources I have lots of other videos
24.48 covering how to establish a power
26.76 exchange dynamic how to negotiate
28.97 punishment ideas reward systems all of
32.189 those things so if you want to learn
33.78 more about those as well please do
35.969 remember to check out the videos that
37.53 will be in the description box below so
39.39 you can have that additional knowledge
40.68 today specifically what I want to talk
43.05 about are my personal general guidelines
45.329 that I use when I’m evaluating if this
48.149 is a rule that I want to have part of my
49.739 BDSM dynamic and then I’m also going to
52.739 be giving you guys five recommendations
54.75 to start off with rules in your own
56.46 relationship which I find are
58.379 particularly helpful if you don’t really
60.12 know what you want out of power exchange
62.16 yet or are nervous and don’t yet have
63.75 any experience so like I said the first
67.11 thing that I want to talk about are my
68.61 general guidelines I use when I’m
70.619 evaluating if I want to have rules or a
74.31 certain role in my dynamic and the first
76.95 thing that is probably always top of my
79.56 mind is purpose purpose is so important
83.49 why are you doing this role why do you
86.04 want this is it because it fulfills a
88.979 king need is it about reinforcing the
91.29 dynamic is it about feeling closer to
94.11 your submissive side is it about
96.15 personal growth or learning a skill or
98.61 remembering to do a healthy habit there
101.22 are lots of reasons why you could
102.42 potentially want to add a certain role
104.67 to a relationship however I would avoid
107.159 things like I don’t know or because
109.77 everybody else is doing it or because
111.72 this is what we should do as a domme and
113.579 the sub
114.09 I just don’t personally agree with that
117.78 now you may not necessarily have solid
120.299 reasons when you’re first getting into
122.28 it and you are in that experimental
124.079 phase but then hey you know it’s because
125.909 you want to experiment it should be
128.129 something where you’re talking to your
129.39 partner figure out what purposes
131.569 serve because rules that don’t really
133.43 have any meaning behind them and that
135.29 aren’t fulfilling are going to be
137.03 difficult to remember they’re going to
138.799 be hard to enforce and more often than
141.349 not they’re eventually going to end up
143.18 on the wayside of the relationship and
145.37 ultimately that could end up damaging
147.109 your ability to continue to do
149.299 additional power exchange in the future
151.04 when one party isn’t remembering and the
153.439 other one is it remembering to enforce
155.239 it as well I always recommend starting
158.0 off slowly I think there’s this
160.069 misconception online that people get
162.379 from trying to look up resources about
164.15 rules that gives people the idea that
167.29 everybody starts off with like this
169.579 thick rulebook of all of these very
171.799 detailed exacting things that are
173.84 expected of the submissive and whenever
175.939 you enter into a power exchanger Namek
177.949 you automatically get this rulebook and
180.409 you’re gonna start doing it tomorrow and
182.12 there are sometimes people who enter
184.31 into relationships that way but I think
186.409 if you’re new the best way to set
188.569 yourself up with success is not to walk
191.12 into everything with Tony rules but to
193.43 take things in baby steps do it one
195.409 thing at a time
196.489 so I recommend starting off with just
198.68 one or two rules at first get kind of a
201.68 sense for them try them on if you will
203.78 figure out if they work for your dynamic
205.909 or not how you can’t adjust them almost
208.459 sort of have like a trial period then
210.859 when you feel comfortable with those you
212.689 start anymore or maybe you go back and
215.18 you try out a different rule but you
217.669 can’t eventually get to the place where
219.29 you have that thick stack of rules but
221.93 it should ideally start off one rule at
224.09 a time because when you’re new you don’t
226.159 really necessarily know what you want
227.72 yet the idea of a certain role can be
230.329 very different from the reality of it
232.159 having to live with a certain rule every
234.379 single day is different than the fantasy
236.569 picture of it that you have in your head
238.84 which brings me to my next point
241.189 which is always negotiate while sober
244.43 and this goes for like all of PDS em but
248.06 especially when it comes to coming up
250.25 with rules I do not recommend you add
252.919 new rules or negotiate to add something
255.169 to your dynamic mid-scene or when you’re
257.87 in subspace or when you are in aftercare
261.349 when you’re high if you’re in
263.03 some kind of altered state of mind that
265.31 is not the best place to be adding new
268.43 rules to their relationship
269.93 the phrase that I’ve often heard in my
271.639 local community is don’t negotiate when
274.55 you’re horny because especially when
276.71 you’re horny just like all those other
278.0 altered states of mind your brain is
280.73 flooded with chemicals that is making it
282.83 choose things that your everyday self
284.75 may not normally have chosen and
287.33 something that sounds really really hot
289.31 when you’re deep in subspace may not be
292.7 so hot to you when you’re not in
294.47 subspace and if not subspace you has to
297.29 deal with that thing for however long
299.45 the rule is in place for then can end up
302.15 not feeling very good so if you do have
304.7 an idea that comes up when you’re horny
306.68 or you’re in a scene save it until after
309.26 all of those things have kind of been
310.97 cleared out of the system give yourself
313.16 space and time to kind of really think
315.08 about is this something that I want to
316.55 commit myself to before you go into that
319.58 because rules can definitely be hot they
322.43 can be really engaging and and bonding
325.16 to the dynamic but if you’re actively
327.53 going into these and instantly getting
329.78 horny when you’re talking about them
331.52 that isn’t maybe not necessarily the
333.68 best place to come to rational long-term
336.32 healthy decisions as well when you’re
338.69 coming up with rules I recommend you
340.61 keep things simple going back to the
342.77 whole giant rule book of rules thing
345.28 things don’t really have to be that
347.99 complicated I know there is an allure to
351.32 plan things to absolute death be super
354.74 super exacting and everything and there
357.53 is a value to that and there are times
359.78 and situations where you should be
362.14 anticipating things that might get in
364.22 the way or cause misinterpretation of
366.26 the specific rule but when you’re
368.3 starting out it is good to have that
370.7 flexibility rather than rigidity because
373.669 basically what you’re doing is you’re
375.95 taking like a lump of clay and you’re
378.35 building that clay with your partner and
379.82 you’re deciding ultimately what shape is
383.03 this going to take and maybe you decide
385.55 that you want to make a vase well you
388.13 should probably leave some room for
389.39 interpretation about what ultimately the
392.18 shape of the vase is going to be help
394.47 it’s going to be or how wide it is or
397.35 how big the opening is there are many
399.27 many variations on the way that you can
401.79 get to the ultimate final thing that you
403.95 want to be doing and the less rigidity
406.5 you have the more ability you have to
409.26 make accommodations to make changes
411.3 without it being damaging to the
413.43 relationship and the last thing is to
415.95 remember to communicate with your
418.17 partner this is so important in pretty
421.47 much all areas of BDSM I can’t really
424.35 think of a time when it’s not but
426.69 especially when you’re coming up with
428.31 rules I know if you’re new if you are
430.83 submissive if you’re just getting into
432.75 this it is really tempting to stay
435.6 silent if something is not working for
437.73 you particularly if you think it’s a
439.26 simple rule or an easy rule if you’re
442.2 having trouble remembering it if it’s
444.3 difficult for you to keep up with
445.74 because your school schedule or work or
447.99 for some reason nerds is dealing with a
449.76 bad spa and you’re not really able to
451.65 kind of get in the mood to do it
453.419 whatever it is it doesn’t necessarily
456.12 mean that the rule shouldn’t be in place
457.71 but what should happen is an opportunity
460.77 to talk to your partner about why
462.9 something isn’t working the way that you
464.61 expected and how things can change or
467.22 not change or what your partner can do
469.05 to help you and this definitely goes for
471.419 dominance as well like dominance if you
473.55 are feeling uncomfortable with a certain
475.41 rule if you are having trouble
477.45 remembering enforcing the rules or
479.22 you’re having difficulty like mentally
481.169 thinking about enforcing something
483.18 you’re getting into that headspace like
484.919 talk to your partner about that too no
487.2 matter where you are in the / no matter
488.91 if you’re giving or receiving the rules
490.53 there should always be that opportunity
492.78 to talk about how things are working
495.08 revisiting subjects and it’s not a
497.43 failure to have to get rid of a rule or
500.58 rework something this is all a growth
502.919 processes all about learning and
504.75 remember to give yourselves those
506.49 opportunities to learn alright now I’m
509.7 gonna go ahead and get into my five rule
512.28 recommendations I have if you are just
514.5 getting started with rules in BDSM I try
518.099 to make these as versatile as possible
520.68 because again these are just simple
522.9 ideas but they’re ones that I think I
524.459 work pretty well no matter
526.16 what sort of dynamic you’re hoping to
527.72 get into pet play or CGL or general MS
531.769 whatever it is these are some pretty
533.629 good places to start my number one
535.85 recommendation is setting bedtimes and
538.61 or having a no technology immediately
542.089 before bed roll I think this one has a
544.25 pretty clear purpose it’s about
546.079 establishing healthy things in your
549.56 submissives life it is about having you
551.6 routine and a schedule and many many
554.36 rules are built on a foundation of
556.459 schedules and there’s no better place to
558.259 start that then with the time that the
560.18 person goes to sleep it’s something
562.25 that’s really easy to enforce especially
564.709 if you live with the person and even if
566.66 you don’t it’s something that is easy to
568.16 send reminders about set alarms for
570.5 there’s all kinds of ways where you can
572.6 make sure that this is going to be a
574.129 rule that is kept in place I think
576.5 ultimately when somebody starts to see
578.629 the positive benefits of a rule like
581.3 this it’s almost something that becomes
582.829 self enforcing and then can start to
585.17 build on itself my second recommendation
587.569 is good morning / good night messages
590.72 again very very clear purpose it’s about
593.899 keeping your partnership and keeping
595.79 your BDSM dynamic in mind even when you
598.459 aren’t necessarily with each other it’s
600.56 something that is very flexible between
602.72 different work schedules and different
604.79 sleep schedules and time zones and long
607.339 distance relationships and even if you
609.05 live with your partner you can do this
610.61 so very flexible and it is so easy to do
615.139 if you are somebody who’s really busy it
617.12 literally takes you you know four
618.92 seconds after you get out of the shower
620.389 in the morning or when you’re first
621.769 waking up in you’re checking Facebook
623.48 anyway just send your partner a quick
626.269 message and say good morning sir and
628.009 they can they can say you know good
629.959 morning little one or whatever it is
631.61 text email a phone call whatever works
634.519 best for your particular situation I
637.13 think this is a great way to again keep
639.709 the power exchange dynamic in mind and
641.689 especially for those of us who are
643.879 interested in cgl or pet play who tend
647.389 to be a little bit more focused on
649.639 wanting attention in the relationship
651.379 just having these quick little kind of
653.899 openers and closers to the day can make
656.36 us feel so much more important to our
658.55 partners
659.3 even if we’re not really able to have a
660.769 lot of in-depth communication throughout
662.81 the rest of the day and that also leads
664.67 me into my third suggestion which is
668.11 titled protocols I think that sounds a
671.149 little bit more intense than it really
672.529 is basically what it means is that you
675.56 and your partner come to an agreement to
677.329 always use certain titles with each
679.25 other so maybe you always call your
681.38 partner little one and they always call
683.329 you daddy or sir
684.62 and that is how they are expected to
686.66 address you and if they call you by
688.91 another name like your real name or your
692.66 full name or they forget to add in you
695.269 know the sir the mam or whatever it
696.95 happens to be then you know they’ve
699.649 broken the rule this is something that
701.57 again has a clear purpose of
703.399 establishing the relationship dynamic
705.62 enforcing it on a daily basis and it’s a
708.26 pretty easy habit to get into there’s a
710.81 couple different ways you can do this
711.92 like for me I always call my partner sir
715.01 whenever I’m referring to him unless I
717.14 am around say vanilla people or I don’t
719.72 want to have somebody be involved in our
721.43 dynamic but you can also do this where
725.329 you have somebody always use the
727.22 person’s title at the end of their
728.959 sentences when they’re communicating so
730.73 yes sir or I’ve had a good morning sir
733.31 or what have you had for breakfast sir
735.23 whatever it happens to be you can have
737.57 these ways to make sure that title gets
739.49 inserted in regular periods throughout
742.85 the day to again reinforce that dynamic
745.399 and reinforce the power exchange and my
748.04 fourth recommendation is keeping track
751.1 of your submissives
752.329 drinking water now in general I’m not a
755.51 really big proponent of rules and
757.76 punishments based around diets because
760.04 it can definitely be a very very
762.26 slippery slope and way to help somebody
764.66 harm themselves but I think
767.11 comparatively keeping track of something
769.61 like water is a little bit lower risk
772.25 it’s less likely to have a lot of
775.1 potential ramifications to it the
777.74 biggest issue with keeping track of
779.57 water is how you actually do it and the
783.26 amount obviously is going to vary person
785.779 to person and body type the body type I
787.97 know some people who do this by sending
789.829 a photo every single time they do
791.66 a glass of water but depending on your
793.87 everyday environment and what your life
796.16 is typically like it can be so easy to
798.59 forget to take a photo when you’re busy
800.63 with family or kids you’re at like a
803.27 busy night club or something and if your
805.85 partner is suddenly getting ten photos
807.47 of water glasses all the time it can
809.51 really impede the rest of the
810.92 conversation you’re having and it can
812.54 get difficult for them to keep track of
814.64 as well there are lots of water intake
817.13 tracking apps that you can use on your
819.29 cell phone and it could be something
821.18 where you send screenshots to your
822.77 partners so they can see how much water
824.36 you’re drinking they can physically
826.13 check it once a week or maybe they can
828.38 even be part of the app as well so they
830.27 can see in the movie they can even track
831.98 their own water intake have sort of some
833.93 mutual accountability but overall I
836.45 think this is a good starting rule
838.07 particularly if you are wanting to have
840.05 rules that are more like health and
841.88 fitness focused before you completely go
844.13 down that pathway my last recommendation
846.56 number five is asking permission this
850.55 one is very very general but that is on
852.92 purpose
853.49 I think the habit of learning to ask
855.95 permission for something specific is a
859.67 great way of keeping the submissive
862.49 mindset going it’s a great way of
864.56 putting the dominant in a position of
866.78 power it’s a great way for them to get
869.0 used to being the one who is making
870.83 decisions and in a constant position of
873.2 authority and it is very flexible to
875.81 different interests and things you want
877.43 to get into this could be things like
879.44 ask permission to get on the couch if
881.69 you’re a pet player asking permission to
884.27 use the restroom if you’re a little
886.25 asking permission to leave a room if
888.62 your service focused asking be dismissed
890.72 at dinner you know all sorts of things
892.76 asking permission to get into bed asking
895.16 permission to have an orgasm so many
897.38 ways to incorporate this role into so
899.42 many different dynamics and it is so
901.28 buildable as well because once you
903.74 involve having to ask permission for one
905.99 thing it becomes a lot easier to get
908.09 into the habit to be able to do that
909.89 with other things as well
911.47 alright that is all the suggestions I
913.88 have for today hopefully you found these
915.59 interesting and helpful if you have any
917.51 questions please let me know down in the
919.25 comment section below let me know if you
921.5 liked this video and if you did make
923.36 sure you subscribe
924.38 if you haven’t already I make videos
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929.96 is over on patreon that is how I’m able
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936.8 interests you and until I see you guys
938.84 next time of a great rest of your day
940.37 and a great rest week
948.2 [Music].