Youtube punition BDSM: Punition vs. Discipline (BDSM)

« punition BDSM » analysé par Evie Lupine

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La vidéo dure 00:17:46 secondes et porte le titre Punishment Vs. Discipline [BDSM], fournis par l’auteur. La description détaillée est la suivante :« Vous cherchez plus d’informations mentionnées dans cette vidéo? Mes médias sociaux? Comment soutenir ce canal? Cliquez simplement sur « Afficher plus » ci-dessous! ヽ (´ ･ ω ･ `) ､ ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ ▼ ▼ ▼ ▼ prends en charge et abonnez-vous ▼ âchep Store: https://teespring.com/stores/evie-lupine Enquêtes commerciales uniquement: lupineventide@gmail.com ▼ ▼ bord des vidéos connexes ▼ ▼actious https://youtu.be/6cjtkq8eaos pouvez-vous punir un dom ?: https://youtu.be/rwnc3e579oa à des fins éducatives uniquement. Toutes mes vidéos sont destinées à fournir des informations sur la sécurité aux adultes qui choisissent de s’engager dans ces activités ainsi que des stéréotypes de combat et une désinformation. De plus, ces vidéos peuvent contenir des commentaires éducatifs sur les questions queer, la culture pop et les actualités. Aucune partie de mon contenu n’est censée être utilisée pour la gratification, et elle n’est pas intentionnellement salace. Tout le contenu utilisé relève des directives d’utilisation équitable à des fins d’éducation et de commentaires. ▼tern papt tout le reste ▼ ▼ âches Art par: @animositi sur Instagram Credits / Attribution (Musique): Artiste: Audionautix Site Web: http://audionautix.com/ Track: Transportation Licensed sous une licence d’attribution créative Commons (https ▼ exp férer opérative candidater evilie mpo box 31978 98103 (tagstotranslate) punition ».

YouTube donne accès à une multitude de vidéos sur une large gamme de sujets, favorisant un échange respectueux autour de contenus créatifs et divers. Chaque utilisateur peut explorer des thématiques variées et trouver des vidéos qui répondent à leurs intérêts tout en restant fidèle aux règles de la plateforme.

Mettre en œuvre un protocole d’aftercare rigoureux

Le rôle crucial de l’après-jeu dans l’équilibre émotionnel

Prendre le temps d’échanger après la rencontre sur les émotions, ce qui a été apprécié ou non, permet d’ajuster les pratiques futures et de renforcer la complicité. L’aftercare est un espace de soin mutuel, de validation et d’ancrage, qui élève l’expérience SM au-delà d’un simple jeu pour en faire un partage humain profond. Après une punition sadomaso, particulièrement forte, il est primordial de pratiquer un aftercare adapté. La personne soumise doit vivre un tourbillon d’émotions — honte, euphorie, tristesse, soulagement — qu’il est essentiel d’accueillir avec douceur. Dans toute pratique BDSM, surtout après une scène ou une punition intense, l’aftercare est une étape incontournable. Il sert à réparer les tensions, réconforter et renforcer la relation. Un câlin sous une couverture doit apporter chaleur et apaisement, un mot tendre rassure et valide, tandis qu’un bain chaud ou un massage favorisent la détente musculaire et prolongent la connexion affective.

la finalité de la sanction

La punition dans le cadre BDSM, quand elle est portée par le respect, l’écoute et l’imagination, se transforme en un puissant instrument de lien affectif, de contrôle et de désir mutuel. Pour les couples où la femme prend le rôle dominant face à un homme soumis, elle établit une dynamique érotique marquante et personnalisée.

Appréhender le rôle de la sanction dans les dynamiques SM

Jeu et discipline

La punition dans une liaison SM est un acte réfléchi et codifié, qui prend tout son sens dans la relation contractuelle entre une dominatrice et son soumis. La punition en bdsm ne se limite pas à la douleur physique : elle peut aussi être psychologique ou symbolique. Son but est de consolider l’ordre établi et d’éveiller une forme de plaisir convenue.

Explorer les types de punitions et leurs objectifs

Certaines punitions traversent les genres et les formes de couples dans le SM : la fessée, la chasteté, le déni d’orgasme, ou l’humiliation verbale participent à l’ancrage d’une autorité librement consentie et au développement d’un érotisme de la contrainte.

Élaborer une dynamique de pouvoir fondée sur le consentement mutuel

Valeur des safewords et cadre sécuritaire à respecter

Le mot de sécurité, ou safeword, est la clé de la protection. Il donne au soumis le contrôle pour arrêter la session dès que les limites sont franchies. Sans lui, la punition sadomaso doit basculer vers l’abus. S’exprimer est essentiel : il faut toujours discuter avant la rencontre pour définir les limites, les envies et les espaces à explorer, puis prendre le temps, après, d’échanger sur les ressentis, les ajustements possibles et le vécu de chacun·e. Ces précautions ne limitent pas le jeu, elles en sont la condition sine qua non, car elles assurent la sureté physique et émotionnelle et permettent au pouvoir de circuler librement dans un climat de confiance. Pour assurer la sécurité lors de toute pratique bdsm impliquant des punitions ou des jeux de pouvoir, il est essentiel de respecter certains principes clés. Le choix d’un safeword est primordial : ce mot doit être simple à dire mais peu courant dans le contexte érotique, comme « rouge », pour être immédiatement identifié comme un signal d’alerte. Ce safeword donne à la personne soumise la possibilité de reprendre le contrôle si une limite est franchie, garantissant que le jeu reste basé sur un consentement mutuel. Par ailleurs, il est conseillé d’établir un protocole clair pour interrompre toute activité en urgence, que ce soit par un mot, un geste ou un signe convenu à l’avance, notamment lorsque la parole doit être difficile.

L’enjeu crucial du consentement associé à la confiance

Dans l’univers sadomaso, en particulier pour la soumission d’un homme, la confiance et le consentement mutuel sont incontournables. Ils reposent sur une communication honnête qui définit clairement les frontières, envies et interdits. Imposer une punition dans une relation bdsm nécessite une compréhension approfondie de son ou sa partenaire soumis·e. Cela permet d’agir dans un environnement sécurisé, consenti et érotique, en tenant compte des désirs mais aussi des zones de vulnérabilité émotionnelle. Définir les limites avec précision est crucial : ce qui est tolérable, ce qui est à la limite du supportable, et ce qui est absolument inacceptable. Ces repères permettent d’adapter la sanction aux accords et de garantir un climat de confiance. Il importe également de déterminer quels comportements méritent une sanction pour que la punition conserve son sens, reste rare et juste, et ne devienne pas arbitraire ou habituelle. Cette rigueur d’écoute, de préparation et d’intention confère à la punition sa puissance dans la dynamique dominant·e/soumis·e, quel que soit le genre ou la configuration relationnelle.

Inclure la sanction dans les pratiques sadomaso

Combiner douleur et plaisir : une quête d’équilibre dans la pratique

La douleur au sein de la punition bdsm n’est pas une fin en soi, mais un moyen d’explorer une dynamique émotionnelle et psychologique riche. Quand elle est bien dosée, elle crée un sentiment d’abandon où la personne soumise s’abandonne volontairement à la dominante ou au dominant. Cet abandon est une marque de confiance et non une faiblesse, renforçant ainsi le lien. La douleur doit aussi intensifier l’expérience émotionnelle, provoquant parfois une catharsis, en libérant des tensions intérieures et en ouvrant la voie à un état modifié de conscience. Plus qu’un simple effet physique, la douleur est une expérience sensorielle riche et profonde. Ce partage intense fortifie le lien entre dominant et soumis, qui repose sur la confiance, le respect des limites et la recherche d’un dépassement commun dans un cadre sécurisé. Ce n’est pas la douleur qui importe, mais ce qu’elle provoque et construit dans la liaison BDSM. Il est crucial de lire attentivement les réactions physiques et émotionnelles du soumis : trop de douleur détruit le plaisir, trop peu rend la punition inefficace. Les discussions et visuels liés à la punition foisonnent sur les réseaux : découvrez-les à travers le site ilovebdsm.org qui vous relie directement à l’univers actif et passionné de la punition BDSM.

Les situations et outils mobilisés pour la punition

Afin d’apporter une diversité sensorielle, on peut inclure des pinces, des bougies ou des cordes, qui introduisent une autre dynamique de contrôle et de stimulation. Ces outils, employés avec attention, façonnent la sanction en un rituel commun, à la fois puissant et sensuel, où le désir s’exprime autant par la mise en scène que par l’acte lui-même. La sanction dans le sadomaso doit se dérouler dans le cadre d’un jeu de rôle ou d’une mise en scène, ajoutant une dimension théâtrale et psychologique à la dynamique de domination et soumission. Ces scénarios permettent d’explorer symboliquement le pouvoir tout en respectant un cadre consensuel et codifié. Par exemple, la dominante peut endosser le rôle d’une cheffe stricte qui punit son employé pour une faute imaginaire, renforçant son autorité par la fiction. Une maîtresse peut également corriger son esclave masculin pour une désobéissance, accentuant la tension entre contrôle et soumission. Certains pratiquent un « tribunal sadomaso » où le soumis est jugé selon des règles établies et puni selon un verdict scénarisé. Ces jeux offrent une expérience riche tant sur le plan érotique qu’émotionnel. Les instruments utilisés varient selon l’intensité des sensations recherchées : la fessée à main nue reste un classique, intime et directe, tandis que la canne, le martinet ou la paddle provoquent une douleur plus ciblée et intense.

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#Punition #Discipline #BDSM

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: hello youtube this is evey lupine welcome back to my channel and today I have another video for you all today we are going to be talking about the differences between punishment and discipline I was recently at King Fest which by the way where and their shirt today which is a great way of getting to take a lot of classes about BDSM getting good dungeon time being able to meet people get some new toys and I always take a lot away from cake fest it’s definitely a process of growth and it’s a way to think more internally about my relationships and what I want out of a dynamic but in particular this year I took a class that was about D a structure how to find these relationships that work for you how to find language that works for them how to negotiate for them so on and so forth and there was one little nugget that was probably like five minutes worth of the class and it was about the differences between punishment and discipline and I’ve talked a lot about punishment on my channel I’ve talked about the differences between punishment and punishment how to negotiate for punishment can you discipline or punish your Dom so on and so forth but I’ve never really had the language to explain the difference between punishment and discipline and how they both work in BDSM and all that stuff and I think because of this cause I finally have a good way to explain it so that’s what we’re gonna be talking about today now for those of you who haven’t seen my previous videos where I’ve talked about punishment before I’m just gonna briefly define what punishment means to me because a lot of people have very different working definitions of what punishment is and to me punishment is something that occurs as a way to discourage a submissive from an unwanted behavior or action in a negotiated Deezer relationship so that would be something that submissive doesn’t like that is meant to discourage them from performing something that’s against the rules so for example a punishment would be something like caning a submissive on the hand when they steal a cookie from the cookie jar without asking first this is compared to something like punishment or something that as part of a scene where rather than being meant to discourage your behavior or even being part of a DS relationship if something actually the submissive enjoys and wants to have happen so punishment might be something where the submissive is caught stealing from the cookie jar but rather than a hand caning they get a nice light spanking instead so it’s like a two-for-one deal they could have a cookie and they get to have a spanking and it doesn’t discourage behavior pleasure make could be on purpose so it can be kind of like a fun playful thing and it may be something that a dominant just by accident because they didn’t realize that the punishment they did wasn’t actually gonna discourage the behavior people also use punishment as a way of framing a scene it’s like a narrative device almost where maybe for example you have a submissive who wants to do a spanking scene and you frame it as being punishment for something that they’ve done or something they’ve forgotten even if they haven’t actually broken any rules even if there’s no D F structure even if nothing has actually occurred it’s just a way of framing why the scene has happened and adding a little bit of a roleplay element to it but for the purpose of this video again I am talking about punishment that is meant to discourage an action and it’s meant to be something the submissive does not like or does not want to have happen to them now how effective is punishment that is a really good question and kind of the key of why I want to have this discussion because people who want to pursue D as people who want to have a dominant and submissive dynamics and have rules and structure and all that fun stuff a lot of times the punishment can kind of be the the weak side of the relationship it can be something particularly if people do thinking think about it as as punishment can be something that people are like really excited about but actually having the counterbalance in the relationship to have effective punishment that allows the rules to be enforced properly can be very difficult because there’s just so many ways that punishments can be messed up they can actually be something the submissive enjoys it can accidentally be something that the dominant doesn’t want to end up doing because it’s something that’s to mentally or emotionally extreme for them it can be something that is hard to calibrate in terms of when X happens Y happens and making sure that the punishment suits the crime or whatever thing ended up happening that the dominant wants to discourage or something that is against the rules and it’s just something that is very difficult to be able to navigate properly but luckily punishment is certainly not the only option and not the only tool the dominants are able to use in order to help create the framework and structure of that particular relationship the other thing that people can use is discipline before I get into what discipline is I first want to give some examples about what punishment looks like and why in particular it may not be effective in all cases so for example you can have a situation where the submissive has a rule where they need to lay out all the tools before a scene they have to lay them out on a certain order and in a certain location then when it’s done they have to kneel in a certain position and that’s the rule and if they break it there is a punishment that may or may not be specifically lined out by the rule or maybe it’s just my case-by-case basis but that part doesn’t really matter the part is the submissive has a specific rule that they have to follow and you can have a situation where the submissive is preparing for a scene and they’re getting the toys ready and they’re doing all the things that they need to do and they mess up and maybe they forgot that they were supposed to put the toys in color order instead of an alphabetical order by name or by height or by height going from smallest to larger since that a largest to smallest or the order that they’re going to be used in the scene let cetera et cetera et cetera it’s really easy to get confused in that situation obviously and maybe it’s just something that’s like a really small infraction in a situation where punishment is used for that matter the submissive having made the mistake is maybe told to go sit in a corner by themselves for 5 minutes and then they don’t get to have a scene but the submissive didn’t necessarily want to break that rule maybe they just forgot maybe the rules weren’t clear may be the dominant hadn’t had the opportunity to properly explain how they wanted to have everything laid out its again people are people it’s easy to forget how to do things but in that particular punishment situation if there’s no further explanation or discussion especially after it’s happened it’s gonna probably happen again and the submissive is gonna keep gonna punish the rules gonna keep getting broken and that kind of thing can really disseminate into the whole relationship and the dominant could have it frustrated that the submissive just doesn’t seem to be learning what to do and the submissive is gonna get frustrated that they never seem to know what to do when they keep getting punished for it and that is why discipline is a good thing because it can take those moments where a submissive has broken a rule and turn them into a teachable moment and there are other ways that punishment can fail besides just situations where the submissive is improperly remembering how to do something if they weren’t taught how to do something or they’re forgetful or something that there’s a lot of reasons why a submissive can innocently break the rule but there are also situations where a submissive can break a rule or avoid a role and that is really what punishment encourages punishment because there’s no follow-up and there’s usually no explanation and there’s a lot of things that can go wrong with it punishment really only teaches a submissive how to avoid the punishment so for example what can happen is a submissive Cavey role that they get caned on their hand when they take a cookie without permission or eat a cookie without permission and maybe the submissive really really likes cookies maybe cookies are their favorite food in the whole world and they would do anything in order to be able to eat a cookie so maybe the hand caning by itself isn’t a strong enough to turn to keep them from eating cookies so they get slapped on the hand or cane on the hand and then they go well that kind of sucks but I just don’t really like cookies so how can I get cookies when I really want them or maybe they’re not even plotting maybe they just wake up at 1:00 a.m. and they are considering hmm my dominate or master whatever his title is it’s not currently awake so I can probably sneak having a cookie and he won’t notice and then if he doesn’t notice he won’t punish me and I won’t get in trouble so will it really be like I broke a rule maybe they sneak out and have a cookie and they go back to bed and then the dominant never finds out and the submissive because they don’t have the proper internal motivation to refrain from breaking the rule because things that they want to do is so much more of a higher-order thing that they enjoy then the level of punishment that they are being received they’re not getting enough external motivation to not do the thing it’s it’s just it’s just a counterbalance where maybe in that same situation if the submissive were to be caught eating a cookie rather than just being caned on the hand the dominant would take the time to explain why it’s important to them that this rule is kept in place and maybe it can be more thoroughly worked out how to keep the submissive from any cookies or why they would want to sneak eating cookies and how to kind of work with that more psychological aspect of why that desire is so great that they would be willing to break rule and I think that’s really important because if you’re dealing with a situation where a submissive is willing enough to break rule 4 structure that they want to have their is something that’s deeper there that needs to be discussing and worked out because rules and those kinds of things are meant to be done in a way that’s supposed to be improving this misses life and there can definitely be times where you trial and error this you figure out it’s a rule that maybe isn’t gonna work out and it’s not meant to be but maybe it’s really important for the semester that they don’t eat cookies because they have a sugar addiction and having a sugar addiction negatively affects their life because X Y Z and being able to refrain from eating sugar without permission is a way for them to be able to better control their sugar intake and be able to get a better handle on their health and even just kind of remember ringg and having that particular conversation can be really important to be a reminder to the submissive that hey this is a good rule we want this to be in place this is why you should follow it because not only will it make me happy as a dominant it will also make me happy that you’re taking care of my thing you are taking care of my submissive of of yourself or for you so that’s why discipline can be a little bit better is because punishment that type of conversation doesn’t always happen and it’s not really built into the structure of how a lot of people think about punishment okay I’ve done a lot of talking about what punishment is and they haven’t really discussed what discipline would do instead so let’s get into that now so discipline is very similar to punishment discipline is still a way of discouraging an unwanted behavior it’s also a way of encouraging wanted behavior it’s encouraging submissives to follow the rules and it’s enabling them to follow the rules in situations where they are forgetful or instructions were unclear in the past so going back to the previous example where a submissive was expected to lay out all the toys before playing a certain order in a certain location during the punishment situation the submissive was never really explained to do it properly so it was like this cycle of the submissive just messing up over and over again and keep getting punished over and over again even though they didn’t really want to break a rule and we’re trying to get around the rule to begin with so for a situation that uses discipline rather than punishment it might look like something like this instead this admissible getting the toys laid out before play and they maybe mess up in the exact order that the dominant wants to have them done rather than putting them in a corner for five minutes the dominant would instead explained what happened and what went wrong so they could say submissive the toy do not appear to be laid out in the correct order so let’s go over again and make sure you explain this were you having trouble remembering what order things were supposed to be in and the submissive will probably say yes and they go okay let’s talk about this again and they show the submissive what it’s supposed to look like now if you would have done this properly this is what it would have looked like then once it’s been explained the innominate will move on put all of the toys into the toy bag and say now you do it and the submissive is instantly given an opportunity in that moment to be able to learn what the proper action is and then maybe the dominant will explain why it is important to remember the proper order or give the submissive some tools for being able to remember repetition if it’s a situation where that’s possible is really really important so maybe the dominant after the semi sieve has successfully completed the task for the first time he will put all the toys in the back again and have the submissive lay them out again and then maybe they will put the toys in the back again and have them later on again and it can be repeated as many times as is necessary for that particular task until it’s really given a chance to sink in because that’s how human brings work especially if it’s not a task that the submissive is used to doing or has done before you need to have that ability to to train your brain to like focus on this especially if it huffily the submissive naturally cares about like for me I have a role where I have to make sure there’s a zero time on the microwave so I can’t leave it at like 12 seconds or something if I pull something out of the microwave early and that’s really really difficult for me to remember and it’s not really effective to just punish me for it when it happens because I am not necessarily always going to remember because of that then the microwave timer needs to be off it’s more effective for my dominant My partner mr. Tex to explain to me why it’s important to remember to take the time off the microwave or why or how he feels when I leave it on or just reminding me that it’s part of our dynamic and that could be disciplined – discipline can also be really effective for brats – because it can be easier for a lot of people to think about and do discipline in a way that’s non-physical and if you are dealing with a masochist who loves pain pain based punishment it’s gonna work but maybe the communication elements of discipline work better may be feeling like somebody is disappointed and then works better may be being given more opportunity to succeed and explain why something is important it works better than physical punishment discipline can definitely also be combined with punishment so for example going back again to the previous scene maybe you do punish the submissive and have them be in a corner but maybe for less time two or three minutes and then you go back and then you’ll explain what went wrong and how to do it correctly and have that practice and you can have both it really just depends on what the exact infraction is and how the submissive works best but if you have found that there is something that keeps happening over and over again and a submissive keeps breaking a rule besides just completely just getting rid of the rule altogether and potentially kind of eroding some of the power of the power dynamic try discipline try doing a hybrid of punishment and discipline together because giving yourself more tools as a dominant and giving yourself more tools even as a submissive you take your dominant and whoever is this in control of your – relationship is so effective and having more things in your school but more things you can rely on to make a DSO work how can I possibly be a bad thing so that is what I wanted to talk about in today’s video hopefully you guys found it interesting and helpful if you did please let me know in the comment section down below if you haven’t already please do subscribe because I make videos twice a week and finally if you really enjoyed this video and you like the work that I do on this channel please do consider going to my patreon that is a way that I’m able to fund doing this videos that is how I’m able to have time to do these videos this channel would not exist if it were not for patreon so thank you guys so so much who already support if you don’t support please check it out I have a lot of really cool perks and who’s the flutter shoots and videos and chats so you know if you haven’t been already look it over you might find something you find interesting or something that you’ve been wanting more from me with all of that said I hope you guys have a great rest your day and a great rest of your week and I will see you all again very soon bye bye [Music] .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0.0 hello youtube this is evey lupine
2.31 welcome back to my channel and today I
4.44 have another video for you all today we
7.35 are going to be talking about the
9.09 differences between punishment and
11.66 discipline I was recently at King Fest
14.759 which by the way where and their shirt
17.43 today which is a great way of getting to
20.789 take a lot of classes about BDSM getting
23.46 good dungeon time being able to meet
25.529 people get some new toys and I always
28.32 take a lot away from cake fest it’s
30.21 definitely a process of growth and it’s
32.82 a way to think more internally about my
34.8 relationships and what I want out of a
36.63 dynamic but in particular this year I
38.969 took a class that was about D a
40.829 structure how to find these
42.93 relationships that work for you how to
45.239 find language that works for them how to
47.309 negotiate for them so on and so forth
49.14 and there was one little nugget that was
51.03 probably like five minutes worth of the
53.039 class and it was about the differences
55.86 between punishment and discipline and
58.109 I’ve talked a lot about punishment on my
60.149 channel I’ve talked about the
61.26 differences between punishment and
62.73 punishment how to negotiate for
64.619 punishment can you discipline or punish
66.75 your Dom so on and so forth
69.06 but I’ve never really had the language
71.61 to explain the difference between
73.549 punishment and discipline and how they
76.47 both work in BDSM and all that stuff and
79.08 I think because of this cause I finally
81.06 have a good way to explain it so that’s
82.83 what we’re gonna be talking about today
84.32 now for those of you who haven’t seen my
87.99 previous videos where I’ve talked about
89.61 punishment before I’m just gonna briefly
91.619 define what punishment means to me
93.869 because a lot of people have very
95.52 different working definitions of what
97.65 punishment is and to me punishment is
100.77 something that occurs as a way to
102.439 discourage a submissive from an unwanted
104.97 behavior or action in a negotiated
107.28 Deezer relationship so that would be
110.31 something that submissive doesn’t like
111.72 that is meant to discourage them from
113.22 performing something that’s against the
115.049 rules so for example a punishment would
117.6 be something like caning a submissive on
119.85 the hand when they steal a cookie from
121.95 the cookie jar without asking first this
124.74 is compared to something like punishment
126.96 or something that as part of a scene
128.759 where rather than being meant to
130.83 discourage your behavior or even being
132.77 part of a DS relationship if something
135.92 actually the submissive enjoys and wants
138.26 to have happen so punishment might be
140.51 something where the submissive is caught
142.88 stealing from the cookie jar but rather
144.74 than a hand caning they get a nice light
147.44 spanking instead so it’s like a
148.79 two-for-one deal they could have a
150.89 cookie and they get to have a spanking
152.42 and it doesn’t discourage behavior
153.71 pleasure make could be on purpose so it
155.99 can be kind of like a fun playful thing
157.58 and it may be something that a dominant
159.74 just by accident because they didn’t
161.36 realize that the punishment they did
162.86 wasn’t actually gonna discourage the
164.6 behavior people also use punishment as a
167.57 way of framing a scene it’s like a
169.22 narrative device almost where maybe for
172.67 example you have a submissive who wants
175.43 to do a spanking scene and you frame it
177.8 as being punishment for something that
180.53 they’ve done or something they’ve
181.61 forgotten even if they haven’t actually
183.65 broken any rules even if there’s no D F
185.81 structure even if nothing has actually
188.0 occurred it’s just a way of framing why
191.3 the scene has happened and adding a
192.95 little bit of a roleplay element to it
194.87 but for the purpose of this video again
197.0 I am talking about punishment that is
198.65 meant to discourage an action and it’s
201.26 meant to be something the submissive
202.34 does not like or does not want to have
204.709 happen to them now how effective is
208.13 punishment that is a really good
210.2 question and kind of the key of why I
211.85 want to have this discussion because
214.34 people who want to pursue D as people
217.76 who want to have a dominant and
219.77 submissive dynamics and have rules and
221.33 structure and all that fun stuff a lot
223.49 of times the punishment can kind of be
225.23 the the weak side of the relationship it
227.72 can be something particularly if people
229.58 do thinking think about it as as
231.31 punishment can be something that people
233.24 are like really excited about but
235.28 actually having the counterbalance in
236.93 the relationship to have effective
238.73 punishment that allows the rules to be
240.77 enforced properly can be very difficult
243.17 because there’s just so many ways that
244.58 punishments can be messed up they can
246.83 actually be something the submissive
248.36 enjoys it can accidentally be something
251.39 that the dominant doesn’t want to end up
253.7 doing because it’s something that’s to
255.11 mentally or emotionally extreme for them
257.959 it can be something that is hard to
260.6 calibrate in terms of when X happens Y
264.47 happens and
265.35 making sure that the punishment suits
269.55 the crime or whatever thing ended up
272.22 happening that the dominant wants to
274.47 discourage or something that is against
275.88 the rules and it’s just something that
277.92 is very difficult to be able to navigate
281.49 properly but luckily punishment is
283.56 certainly not the only option and not
285.3 the only tool the dominants are able to
286.83 use in order to help create the
289.17 framework and structure of that
291.09 particular relationship the other thing
293.76 that people can use is discipline before
296.4 I get into what discipline is I first
299.13 want to give some examples about what
301.11 punishment looks like and why in
303.45 particular it may not be effective in
305.34 all cases so for example you can have a
308.73 situation where the submissive has a
311.61 rule where they need to lay out all the
317.04 tools before a scene they have to lay
318.72 them out on a certain order and in a
320.67 certain location then when it’s done
322.23 they have to kneel in a certain position
323.85 and that’s the rule and if they break it
326.67 there is a punishment that may or may
328.74 not be specifically lined out by the
331.35 rule or maybe it’s just my case-by-case
332.91 basis but that part doesn’t really
334.56 matter the part is the submissive has a
336.72 specific rule that they have to follow
338.64 and you can have a situation where the
340.98 submissive is preparing for a scene and
343.56 they’re getting the toys ready and
345.45 they’re doing all the things that they
346.62 need to do and they mess up and maybe
350.31 they forgot that they were supposed to
353.01 put the toys in color order instead of
355.92 an alphabetical order by name or by
358.83 height or by height going from smallest
361.38 to larger since that a largest to
363.0 smallest or the order that they’re going
364.95 to be used in the scene
365.94 let cetera et cetera et cetera it’s
367.53 really easy to get confused in that
368.91 situation obviously and maybe it’s just
370.74 something that’s like a really small
372.66 infraction in a situation where
374.55 punishment is used for that matter
376.26 the submissive having made the mistake
378.87 is maybe told to go sit in a corner by
381.18 themselves for 5 minutes and then they
383.28 don’t get to have a scene but the
385.23 submissive didn’t necessarily want to
388.17 break that rule maybe they just forgot
391.29 maybe the rules weren’t clear may be the
394.02 dominant hadn’t had the opportunity to
395.85 properly explain how they wanted to have
398.22 everything
398.7 laid out its again people are people
400.86 it’s easy to forget how to do things but
403.32 in that particular punishment situation
405.3 if there’s no further explanation or
407.79 discussion especially after it’s
410.34 happened it’s gonna probably happen
413.34 again and the submissive is gonna keep
414.84 gonna punish the rules gonna keep
416.34 getting broken and that kind of thing
417.81 can really disseminate into the whole
420.33 relationship and the dominant could have
422.16 it frustrated that the submissive just
423.75 doesn’t seem to be learning what to do
425.22 and the submissive is gonna get
426.3 frustrated that they never seem to know
428.04 what to do when they keep getting
429.24 punished for it and that is why
432.42 discipline is a good thing because it
433.95 can take those moments where a
435.69 submissive has broken a rule and turn
438.6 them into a teachable moment and there
441.84 are other ways that punishment can fail
445.65 besides just situations where the
447.69 submissive is improperly remembering how
449.4 to do something if they weren’t taught
451.71 how to do something or they’re forgetful
453.69 or something that there’s a lot of
454.74 reasons why a submissive can innocently
456.69 break the rule but there are also
459.0 situations where a submissive can break
462.57 a rule or avoid a role and that is
465.42 really what punishment encourages
467.45 punishment because there’s no follow-up
470.16 and there’s usually no explanation and
471.63 there’s a lot of things that can go
472.92 wrong with it punishment really only
475.26 teaches a submissive how to avoid the
478.95 punishment so for example what can
481.53 happen is a submissive Cavey role that
483.36 they get caned on their hand when they
485.07 take a cookie without permission or eat
487.26 a cookie without permission and maybe
490.29 the submissive really really likes
491.85 cookies maybe cookies are their favorite
494.01 food in the whole world and they would
496.32 do anything in order to be able to eat a
498.9 cookie so maybe the hand caning by
501.75 itself isn’t a strong enough to turn to
504.75 keep them from eating cookies so they
507.87 get slapped on the hand or cane on the
510.18 hand and then they go well that kind of
512.61 sucks but I just don’t really like
514.05 cookies so how can I get cookies when I
519.9 really want them or maybe they’re not
522.24 even plotting maybe they just wake up at
524.94 1:00 a.m. and they are considering hmm
529.44 my
530.57 dominate or master whatever his title is
533.54 it’s not currently awake so I can
536.3 probably sneak having a cookie and he
539.54 won’t notice and then if he doesn’t
541.61 notice he won’t punish me and I won’t
543.079 get in trouble so will it really be like
544.82 I broke a rule
545.899 maybe they sneak out and have a cookie
547.43 and they go back to bed and then the
549.41 dominant never finds out and the
552.47 submissive because they don’t have the
554.269 proper internal motivation to refrain
557.48 from breaking the rule because things
559.579 that they want to do is so much more of
562.88 a higher-order thing that they enjoy
565.269 then the level of punishment that they
567.829 are being received they’re not getting
569.42 enough external motivation to not do the
572.329 thing it’s it’s just it’s just a
574.66 counterbalance where maybe in that same
577.31 situation if the submissive were to be
580.31 caught eating a cookie rather than just
582.949 being caned on the hand the dominant
584.99 would take the time to explain why it’s
588.11 important to them that this rule is kept
591.23 in place and maybe it can be more
594.35 thoroughly worked out how to keep the
597.889 submissive from any cookies or why they
600.38 would want to sneak eating cookies and
603.11 how to kind of work with that more
605.68 psychological aspect of why that desire
608.6 is so great that they would be willing
610.339 to break rule and I think that’s really
613.22 important because if you’re dealing with
614.72 a situation where a submissive is
617.709 willing enough to break rule 4 structure
621.47 that they want to have their is
623.87 something that’s deeper there that needs
625.43 to be discussing and worked out because
627.23 rules and those kinds of things are
630.22 meant to be done in a way that’s
632.269 supposed to be improving this misses
633.98 life and there can definitely be times
636.019 where you trial and error this you
637.189 figure out it’s a rule that maybe isn’t
638.75 gonna work out and it’s not meant to be
640.73 but maybe it’s really important for the
643.699 semester that they don’t eat cookies
645.05 because they have a sugar addiction and
646.97 having a sugar addiction negatively
649.13 affects their life because X Y Z and
651.56 being able to refrain from eating sugar
653.449 without permission is a way for them to
655.279 be able to better control their sugar
658.43 intake and be able to get a better
660.139 handle on their health and even just
662.449 kind of remember
663.07 ringg and having that particular
664.02 conversation can be really important to
666.58 be a reminder to the submissive that hey
669.1 this is a good rule we want this to be
671.17 in place this is why you should follow
672.55 it because not only will it make me
674.02 happy as a dominant it will also make me
677.08 happy that you’re taking care of my
678.64 thing you are taking care of my
680.89 submissive of of yourself or for you so
683.74 that’s why discipline can be a little
685.21 bit better is because punishment that
687.34 type of conversation doesn’t always
688.87 happen and it’s not really built into
690.7 the structure of how a lot of people
692.32 think about punishment okay I’ve done a
694.72 lot of talking about what punishment is
696.37 and they haven’t really discussed what
698.44 discipline would do instead so let’s get
700.93 into that now
702.13 so discipline is very similar to
704.55 punishment discipline is still a way of
707.17 discouraging an unwanted behavior it’s
709.45 also a way of encouraging wanted
711.88 behavior it’s encouraging submissives to
713.83 follow the rules and it’s enabling them
715.84 to follow the rules in situations where
718.18 they are forgetful or instructions were
720.88 unclear in the past so going back to the
724.0 previous example where a submissive was
726.13 expected to lay out all the toys before
728.44 playing a certain order in a certain
730.21 location during the punishment situation
732.82 the submissive was never really
734.2 explained to do it properly so it was
735.73 like this cycle of the submissive just
738.13 messing up over and over again and keep
739.93 getting punished over and over again
741.16 even though they didn’t really want to
742.63 break a rule and we’re trying to get
744.16 around the rule to begin with so for a
745.93 situation that uses discipline rather
747.52 than punishment it might look like
749.29 something like this instead this
751.74 admissible getting the toys laid out
754.57 before play and they maybe mess up in
758.11 the exact order that the dominant wants
761.17 to have them done rather than putting
763.06 them in a corner for five minutes the
764.92 dominant would instead explained what
768.01 happened and what went wrong so they
770.68 could say submissive the toy do not
775.33 appear to be laid out in the correct
777.28 order so let’s go over again and make
779.74 sure you explain this were you having
781.12 trouble remembering what order things
783.25 were supposed to be in and the
784.24 submissive will probably say yes and
785.62 they go okay let’s talk about this again
787.09 and they show the submissive what it’s
790.15 supposed to look like now if you would
791.47 have done this properly this is what it
793.33 would have looked like
795.18 then once it’s been explained the
797.4 innominate will move on put all of the
799.23 toys into the toy bag and say now you do
801.6 it and the submissive is instantly given
803.94 an opportunity in that moment to be able
806.97 to learn what the proper action is and
809.61 then maybe the dominant will explain why
811.23 it is important to remember the proper
813.81 order or give the submissive some tools
815.91 for being able to remember repetition if
818.55 it’s a situation where that’s possible
820.74 is really really important
822.39 so maybe the dominant after the semi
824.88 sieve has successfully completed the
827.46 task for the first time he will put all
829.62 the toys in the back again and have the
831.6 submissive lay them out again and then
833.4 maybe they will put the toys in the back
835.83 again and have them later on again and
837.9 it can be repeated as many times as is
840.93 necessary for that particular task until
843.84 it’s really given a chance to sink in
845.67 because that’s how human brings work
848.37 especially if it’s not a task that the
850.59 submissive is used to doing or has done
852.66 before
853.62 you need to have that ability to to
857.52 train your brain to like focus on this
859.92 especially if it huffily the submissive
862.28 naturally cares about like for me I have
866.13 a role where I have to make sure there’s
867.66 a zero time on the microwave so I can’t
869.4 leave it at like 12 seconds or something
870.84 if I pull something out of the microwave
872.34 early and that’s really really difficult
874.59 for me to remember and it’s not really
877.47 effective to just punish me for it when
880.05 it happens because I am not necessarily
883.92 always going to remember because of that
885.9 then the microwave timer needs to be off
887.67 it’s more effective for my dominant My
891.39 partner mr. Tex to explain to me why
893.7 it’s important to remember to take the
895.89 time off the microwave or why or how he
899.49 feels when I leave it on or just
901.29 reminding me that it’s part of our
903.21 dynamic and that could be disciplined –
905.55 discipline can also be really effective
907.8 for brats – because it can be easier for
910.38 a lot of people to think about and do
912.36 discipline in a way that’s non-physical
914.43 and if you are dealing with a masochist
916.35 who loves pain pain based punishment
918.54 it’s gonna work but maybe the
920.58 communication elements of discipline
922.71 work better may be feeling like somebody
924.69 is disappointed and then works better
927.18 may be being given more
928.86 opportunity to succeed and explain why
930.9 something is important it works better
932.31 than physical punishment discipline can
934.5 definitely also be combined with
936.35 punishment so for example going back
939.03 again to the previous scene maybe you do
942.42 punish the submissive and have them be
945.12 in a corner but maybe for less time two
947.07 or three minutes and then you go back
948.63 and then you’ll explain what went wrong
951.39 and how to do it correctly and have that
953.07 practice and you can have both it really
955.2 just depends on what the exact
957.66 infraction is and how the submissive
959.61 works best but if you have found that
961.95 there is something that keeps happening
963.15 over and over again and a submissive
964.71 keeps breaking a rule besides just
967.32 completely just getting rid of the rule
970.44 altogether and potentially kind of
972.12 eroding some of the power of the power
973.98 dynamic try discipline try doing a
977.1 hybrid of punishment and discipline
979.05 together because giving yourself more
981.75 tools as a dominant and giving yourself
983.97 more tools even as a submissive you take
985.95 your dominant and whoever is this in
987.63 control of your – relationship is so
991.73 effective and having more things in your
994.2 school but more things you can rely on
995.82 to make a DSO work how can I possibly be
999.75 a bad thing so that is what I wanted to
1002.3 talk about in today’s video hopefully
1003.98 you guys found it interesting and
1005.42 helpful if you did please let me know in
1008.0 the comment section down below
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1044.48 with all of that said I hope you guys
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1048.92 again very soon bye bye
1055.74 [Music].